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2019-01-01T01:14:00.000-08:00

How to be more likeable?

2011-08-08T00:40:00.000-07:00

Your likeability determines your success in both professional and personal lives. So pay attention to how you look because it will help you in making a good impression on others.

Candice Swanepoel

Telegraph.co.uk reports that if you want to make the right impression on people, keep the following tips in mind:

Dress well: First impressions are formed instantly and physical appearance plays a big part. In the medium to long-term, people base their liking of a person on other traits and will discount their physical "ideal" if the body language appeals.

Smile: When you smile, other people feel good. It doesn't have to be full-wattage all the time. Just sincere. Even when things are not going too well and you force a smile, the empathetic person picks this up and is able to delve into reasons for your mixed feelings.

Expression in the eyes: This comes high in the likeability ratings. Eye contact shows you are interested in someone, both in general situations and in romantic ones. The expression in your eyes conveys a lot and people can detect levels of warmth, sympathy and concern.

Be a good listener: How you respond to other people is sometimes more important than all the traits listed above. When women talk to other women they tend to be more animated: they nod at appropriate times and may make facial expressions to convey empathy.

Men tend to have a problem with focus, so the theme of a conversation gets lost and the responses are off-key. In addition, men don't tend to give so many visual clues to show that they are listening. If you are a man, try responding with your body to what's being said - it will help you focus. If you come across as a person who listens, other people want to gravitate towards you.

Look good on your first date

2011-07-09T00:41:00.000-07:00

Juliana Super Pop

Here are tips on how to look good on your first date

- Everyone would want to look good on a first date. First of all, selection of dress should be done keeping in mind what kind of place you are going to on your first date. Usually dates are planned at casual places. So, dress accordingly. The more formal the place, the more formal is the dress. But have two or three dresses ready with accessories to avoid panic on D-Day.

Jessica Hart

- You must take a shower before you get ready, even if you have had one in the morning. Smelling nice is one of the most important part of this kind of meeting.

- Set your hair nicely. If possible, get your hair cut or trimmed a day or two before for a fresh and neat look. Girls should go for a simple hairstyle.

- Make-up is important but more important is how to apply make-up. So girls should have proper knowledge of applying make-up. Avoid wearing loads of make-up as it will give a madeup look.

- Shoes are the most important thing for men to give great impression as it is seen that girls notice the footwear of men and judge them. For men, shoes are a sign of class and sophistication and for women, a sign of elegance.

Brainy men 'less likely to cheat'

2011-07-03T00:39:00.000-07:00

Men with higher IQs are less likely to cheat on their wives, concludes a new study.

Monika Pietrasinska

And, according to researchers, it is so because of evolution.

New analysis of social trends indicates that intelligent place greater value on monogamy and sexual exclusivity than their less intelligent peers.

However, boffins at London School of Economics and Political Science found that women didn't follow the same trend.

The researchers could find no evidence that clever women are more likely than the general population to remain faithful, reports The Telegraph.

The findings by Dr Satoshi Kanazawa of the London School of Economics and Political Science were published in the March edition of the journal Social Psychology Quarterly.

To reach the conclusion, the expert analysed two major US surveys which ascertained the social attitudes and IQs of thousands of teenagers and adults.

He concluded: "As the empirical analysis ... shows, more intelligent men are more likely to value monogamy and sexual exclusivity than less intelligent men."

The expert claims that the correlation between intelligence and monogamy in men has its origins in evolutionary development.

It's time to talk 'sex' with kids

2011-06-29T00:20:00.000-07:00

You may dread bringing up the 'S' word with your kids, but experts say it is a must-talk-about topic, finds Rachel Fernandes

'Mum where did I come from?' That is a common question that most parents face. But it's not the question you need to focus on, what's more important is how, you as a parent, reacted when your child asked you this basic yet very complicating question? Did you cringe and say 'Chee don't ask such questions' or tell him/her 'the good old stock dropped you in my lap' story or did you given them a simple and practical answer? Experts vouch for the fact that how you answer this all important query can in fact, make quite a life-long impact on your child.

So what is the right age to start talking to your child about sex and exactly how much of information should you divulge? According to Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist, parents should right from the time the child is three-and-a-half years old. "You can't tell them about sex as they will not be able to comprehend it. However, right from that tender age, it's very important to teach them about a good touch versus a bad one, especially from known people and those in close contact with them," she says. Seema goes on to add that parents much teach their tiny tots about touching their private parts â€” that no one should touch them there and in case it happens, that they must report it immediately to mummy or dad and that it is a bad habit to touch or scratch one's private parts in public.

According to Swati Popat Vats, president of a popular education network, the ideal age to initiate a sex conversation is one year before puberty sets in. "Also, even when they are younger, if they ask sex related questions, answer them simply and frankly, don't bother about technical details. What is most important is not say chee or show disgust when the child asks such questions. This way you will only reinforce in their minds that sex is a dirty thing and the kid will start feeling ashamed about his or her sexual urges," she explains.
Most parents are, however, very apprehensive and dread the conversation and are more than happy to leave the task to someone else, most often the child's teachers. "Even though parents may not be aware of it, children often discuss about sex in their peer groups.

Hence, they are aware about it. They reason why parents need to talk to children is so that they get the right information and are not left confused by heresy, or wrong information from the internet" says Swati. Seema adds that most parents tend to get hyper when they have to have 'the talk' with kids. "Maintain your tone and maintain eye contact," she says.

The most important thing to remember is to keep the conversation simple and understandable. According to experts, a five-year-old can be told that s/he came out from mummy's tummy and show them pictures of a baby in the womb. A seven-year-old can be told about how an egg, that came from papa, got planted in mummy's tummy and then became him/her and came out after nine months. For children between 11 and 13 years of age, experts say, it is fine for parents to explain the basic concepts of sex. For kids over 14, however, it is important to explain the term sex clearly including conception and contraception.

Queenie, mother to 15-year-old Tiara and 12-year-old Rajveer says that though she hasn't spoken to them directly about sex, she keeps telling them about real life stories and relate them to various sexual terms. "As parents, we'd all like to believe that out kids are good and brought up well. But there are a lot of outside influences that are beyond our control. Hence, I make it a point to clearly explain the basic concepts to my kids," she adds.

Pooja Bedi, meanwhile, says that, right from a young age itself, she has taught her kids, 12-year-old Aliya and 10-year-old Omar, how to differentiate a right touch from a wrong one. "More importantly, I told them that it's never their fault and that they should come and tell me about it immediately and I will ensure that it won't happen again," she adds. About the actual talk, she says she'll need to broach it with her daughter in about a years time. "Right now she is in the whole anti-boys phase," she says laughing.

Seema concludes saying that when the child broaches some sex related topic, parents must treat it as a regular conversation. 'Tell them that it's normal for them to feel confused about sex at that age. Don't blame them or accuse them. This will only cause your child to develop a fear about sex and that's not something you want happening," she says.

What women really want!

2011-06-07T00:40:00.000-07:00

Seven sex secrets women wish their partner knew

A good talk is a great aphrodisiac
Many women find talk a great turn-on. For them, talking and feeling loved are very important. Good conversation during walks or while the couple is relaxing can be a great aphrodisiac. A man could tell his woman how much he loves her, which acts as a reassurance that he is with her mentally during those intimate moments.

Ana Hickmann

Many women are anxious about their looks
For a couple that has been together for long, sometimes it is natural that women may feel that their partner may find them less alluring. Because of this some women undress only under the cover of darkness. Caring men can sense such anxieties. There is no need to lie and say she's gorgeous if she isn't, nor is there a need to say that she is not attractive anymore. One can always appreciate and praise what you do find attractive.

For a woman sex isn't separate from rest of her life
On the other hand, men tend to compartmentalise, feeling that stressful aspects of life can be parked mentally and separated from sexual activity. Women need good feelings and experiences during the day to have satisfying sex. How her lover treats her out of bed, greatly influences her response in bed. Inattentiveness, harsh language, rude tones, hurtful words, and criticism can make it difficult for a woman to get involved, feel enthusiastic and be passionate during sex.

An orgasm is not a necessity
Many men feel that a good lover is one who can bring his woman to climactic sexual culmination. It is great to have such moments, but aren't always essential. Many women feel pressure from partners and even from themselves to reach an orgasm. Sometimes instead of having orgasms, women prefer to engage in just foreplay.

Sex need not be a serious act
Playfulness is a great quality. Many men are far too serious about sex. They forget to laugh, be romantically mischievous, have fun. Playfulness and light-heartedness can make intimate moments enjoyable and relaxing. This takes performance pressure off from both partners.

Women cherish non-sexual touching and tenderness
Women love romance, cuddling, hand-holding and kissing. But many women complain that their men never do this except during foreplay. A woman should make her man realise the joy of touching. As you give him a relaxing massage and stroke his face and hair tenderly, he starts experiencing the joy of this kind of non-sexual touching. Tell your man what makes you feel loved and wanted.

Warm attention after sex is important
A woman's need for tender moments goes beyond the actual lovemaking. Some women complain that men fall asleep immediately after the act. It is true that when a man is having sex, his endorphin level is very high. Almost immediately after ejaculation, he goes through a refractory phase where he loses his erection and all his systems gear down. In females this phase happens gradually. However, if you don't like him falling asleep immediately, tell him without putting him down. Alternatively, let him sleep in your arms for a few minutes and gently wake him up afterwards.

Why women have sex

2011-05-26T00:51:00.000-07:00

Women indulge in sex not for love and passion, but for various other "unromantic" reasonsâ€” including relieving themselves of boredom, out of pity for a man and even to cure a migraine headacheâ€”says a new book.

Melissa Marie Peters

Why Women Have Sex by Cindy Meston and David Buss has highlighted 200 reasons as to why women have sexual intercourse.

While attraction ranks way down in the list, it seems that women go to bed with their partners as a way of relieving boredom, keeping the peace, curing a headache and even as a thank you for a nice dinner.

"Research has shown that most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all," the Telegraph quoted the authors, who are both psychology professors at the University of Texas, as saying.

The researchers interviewed 1,006 women as research for the book, and found some very surprising answers.

One revealed that she did it for a spiritual experience, as she thought it to be "the closest thing to God".

Others listed "cure for stress headache", "to make my sexual skills better" and "for a clearer complexion".

However, the majority (84 per cent), admitted that they had sex to ensure a quiet life or to bargain for their partners to carry out household chores.

"I have sex to relieve the boredom. Because it's easier than fighting. Plus it gives me something to do," said one of the interviewee.

While another admitted: "I had sex with a couple of guys because I felt sorry for them."

One of the surveys carried out by the authors revealed that one in ten women admitted having sexual intercourse in return for presents, or lavish meals.

Responses included "he bought me a nice dinner" or "he spent a lot of money on me early on", "he gave me gifts early on" and "he showed me he had an extravagant lifestyle".

'Sex-facts' you never knew!

2011-05-25T00:51:00.000-07:00

Do you believe that your bedroom life is on an all time high, thanks to the immense knowledge you have about sex? Well, we bring you seven never-heard-before facts about the 'S' word, which are sure to leave you thinking...

Melissa Marie Peters

1. Globally, lovers are having sex 139 times a year. The French are the lovemaking pacesetters, according to the Durex Global Sex Survey 2002, coming in at 167 times each 365 days.

2. Condoms are biodegradable â€” some of them. Lambskin and latex condoms are biodegradable, but polyurethane condoms aren't.

3. Sex-enhancing CDs are being sold for setting the mood. Try some classical options to rock your world: Shacking Up to Chopin, Making Out to Mozart and Bedroom Bliss with Beethoven are available.

4. Don't douche â€” it's not recommended anymore. Douching washes away the healthy bacteria in the vagina and alters the natural, healthy pH level. The practice can actually lead to the spread of infections in the reproductive organs.

5. Sex with a celebrity is the No. 1 fantasy worldwide. That's according to the recent Durex survey, which also found that four in 10 people have fantasized about sex with their best friend's partner!

6. Believe it â€“ blue balls are for real. The discomfort is caused when more blood flows into the penis than out. The uneven blood flow causes an increase in the volume of blood trapped in the genitals and contributes to the penis becoming erect and the testicles becoming engorged with blood.

7. It could take eight months for a couple to conceive. So you might not get a baby off the bat, but the wait can be more than worthwhile. At least a year should go by before you fret about your fertility.

Can sleep boost your sex drive?

Which food is best for maintaining stamina during sex?

Big boobs a big no-no!

2011-05-23T00:50:00.000-07:00

Being flat-chested may once have been an embarrassment, but recent trends indicate otherwise.

Ellen Shing, the owner of Lula Lu, a California-based website that caters to AAA- to A-cup sizes, said that while some women do look for padded bras, the majority "don't want to super-size themselves".

Diana Morale

"It's a misconception that you want to be bigger if you're smaller," The New York Daily News quoted Shing as saying.

An increasing number of websites and retailers are saying, "The way you are is perfect, and here's how I can help you" and not "Here's how you stuff your bra", said Elisabeth Dale (formerly Squires), author of Boobs: A Guide to Your Girls.

In fact, women with modest busts are proudly flaunting what little they've got with a deep V-neck cut or a halter-top.

Twitter, Facebook and online blogs are witnessing a surge in online users "gushing about the lingerie and clothes that scream, ''Can you handle me?'' not ''Am I enough?'' "

Facebook groups like Flat Chested and Proud of It! and Flat Chested Girls United exist, and their members trade bon mots as profound as "I'm flat as a tack :)", which garner male support like "You are blessed."

Of course, it doesn't mean that no one is ranting about modest bust lines anymore. Bust magazine, with its feminist streak, has an online support group for those laid low by their tiny breasts.

With its motto "Small is Beautiful," Lula Lu is just one of several retailers and bra makers serving the band of women who make no excuses for their inconspicuous bosoms. Other online brands, like Itty Bitty Bra, require women to have a sense of humour about being "bust-challenged", as the website jokes.

"I''m okay with not having cleavage," said Heidi Brockmyre, a petite size 28A, an acupuncturist, but the new breed of bras for smaller busts just make it "more fun to wear tank tops".

Things not to say on a date

2011-05-20T00:49:00.000-07:00

Do you wonder why the hazel or brown or maybe that blue-eyed girl suddenly left you amidst a conversation which you felt was interesting or why the handsome hunk didn't call you back after the first date? We tell you things you shouldn't say on a date.

Kayden Kross

My dog is my first love!
Even if a guy loves pets, he definitely doesn't want to be fed pet talk on a date. So completely avoid the topic with him - you'll know soon enough that he doesn't share the same passion. Confessed software engineer Prashant Nag, "My first girlfriend was obsessed with her dog. Whenever we met at her place, I had to bear with all the drooling and cajoling. Fearing she might feel hurt, once I requested her to lock her dog inside a room, to which she freaked out. I walked off and never called her again."

My job sucks!
It is a big turn off to be around a person who's forever cribbing. If you are not in a good mood, it's better to cancel the date instead of spending hours sulking and boring the guy to death. "I had a bad day at work and in the evening I had a date with an interesting guy. My mood was so black that I complained the whole evening. He did look bored but after that evening he never took my calls again," says call center executive Shikha Tikka.

'I support the Congress'
Guys and girls, it's time to know that no one wants to know your political inclinations and that too on a date. Stay away from such subjects. The rule is to keep it light and interesting!

'My parents are pushing me to get married'
It won't be a great start if on the very first date you start reciting your marital dreams. Admits freelance writer Pushkin, "I met this interesting girl at a pub and we started chatting. Soon after, she told me about her sister's marriage and how her parents are now finding a boy for her. It was such a put off. I soon found my way out of the place, sans her."

'I hate chocolates, they are so fattening'
So, you are careful about what you eat? It maybe good for your health and body, but definitely not a good thing to say on your first date. "Knowing that every girl loves chocolate, I took a bar of Swiss chocolate for her expecting her to jump with joy. But she made a sad face and said: 'You think a person like me will risk eating chocolates?' And this was not it; she didn't let me order anything proper," says college student Satvik Sharma.

'Don't drive so slow!'
Don't hurt a guy's feelings by telling him 'you are too adventurous.'

Your six 'must-have' friends!

2011-05-17T00:49:00.000-07:00

April Bowlby

From being a shoulder to cry on to the one who spices up your world with gossip to the brainy one, there are six 'must- have' friends for every girl, writes Rachel Fernandes

There's a saying... Friends are the siblings God forgot to give us. Ask any girl and she'll over whelmently agree and tell you about zillion stories about her various girlfriends. The best part about girlfriends is that each one comes with a unique personality. There's always something about her that one can associate with; be it her ability to see the lighter side of life or her wizardry with dealing with numbers or her knowledge about guy things, the list is endless. So as you raise a silent toast to them, here are the six types of girlfriends you just must have.

The soul sister:
Kind of a mix between a sister and a soulmate, she is an absolute must have friend. She understands your state of mind without you needing to spell out the obvious to her. Most often she's just a phone call away, night or day. She's the one who you can share your deepest secret without the fear of the world getting to know about them. She is also the one you turn to when you've somehow gotten yourself into a mess and desperately need a ray of hope to cling onto.

The gossip monger:
She's the one who'll fill you up on all the important gossip, right from which friend is dating whom, which couple has broken up, who is available on the dating scene, office gossip, gym gossip, networking site gossip, movie star gossip. She's also the one who will tell it to you like it is, no sugar coating for her. She can be blunt and brutally honest to the point of irritation, but you know that she's only looking out for you.

The number cruncher:
Ladies, you may hate me for saying this, but most of us women are just plain scared of numbers and anything to do with them. We'd rather leave that boring task to the husbands, fathers, brothers or the CAs while heading off on a merry retail-therapy trip. So when it comes to deciphering what exactly your proposed salary statement means, what is the precise amount that you need to invest to avoid the tax man, decoding those mind-boggling insurance and loan statements and everything else that has a mathematical angle to it, having that brainy friend becomes an all important necessity.

The dude friend:
This is one type of friend who every girl need. She's like a reservoir of knowledge about guy things â€” bikes, sports, gizmos, etc. She'll keep you updated on the latest gadgets, help you figure out those little known yet essential functions on your new phone, enlighten you on all the action in the world of sports, talk to you about cars and bikes and most of the other 'guy' things. Best of all, she'll also give you the man's point of view to your nagging relationship issues.

The foodie friend:
Every girl needs that one friend who'll happily join her on her food experimenting trip. Tell her your food cravings and she'll suggest the best places to head to. Best of all, she'll be more than happy to accompany you on your binge trips without nagging you with that dreaded word calories. She knows where you can get the best yet cheapest food and which restaurant makes your favourite dish exactly the way you like it. Ask her about new restaurants, discos, pubs or even a dhaba and she'll point you in the exact direction.

The workout buddy:
Every girl needs a workout buddy. She's the one who'll force you to exercise away those extra calories. She'll motivate you to run 'just one more lap' or do 'a few more crunches'. She can be worse than a task master, but when you see the stunning effect it's had on you, you know exactly who to thank.

Body Language Tips For Men

2011-05-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Women are masters of body language – both ways. They can communicate just what they want and read you as if you were a book. There are few, if any, things we can hide from girls.

While that may terrify a few boys, there’s a big bright side into it. Knowing the right ways to show interest and the subtle things girls want you to do will give you a big advantage over the more inexperienced guys.

Here are a few tips for you to start:

1- Make Eye Contact. Lots of it, especially when she’s speaking. While you’ll be tempted to check out her breasts, legs and so on, keep your eyes on hers. It will show her you are interested.

2- Smile Often. Smiling will make her feel you are confortable around her – it’s all for the good feeling. You don’t need to smile all-date-long, but do it every now and then to keep the spirit up and not to make her feel you lost interest.

3- Don’t Fidget With Objects. Don’t start breaking papers, playing with candles, etc – unless you want to make her feel you are nervous or uninterested, that is. Keep your hands in check, and just use them for the storytelling, touching (that a bit later in the date!) and for general conversation.

4- No Crossed Arms or Legs. If you have your arms or legs crossed, girls will have the feeling you are not open, too serious and as if you didn’t want anything between you and her. It just makes it seem like that, so it’s a top recommendation to avoid this.

5- Mirror Her Movements. Don’t exaggerate – you are not a mimic. But sync with a few of her movements. If she rests one of her hands on the table, subtly put yours too. Same when she turns to face you, do the same. Do it subly, calmy and it will make her feel more comfortable.

6- Don’t Stay Distant. Lean a little closer when you are speaking with her – try to slowly make things a bit more intimate. Move progressively closer and she’ll likely do the same. Do this as a way to break tension and slowly escalate.

While all this may look very simple, there’s a huge potential into it. Once you start to become a master of your body language and to pick up what girls want you to do, your success rate will go only up.

Genuinely faking it

2011-04-28T00:52:00.000-07:00

There are some questions that you just don't have answers for. Relationship-wise, a question that has probably been around forever is - 'can a guy and a girl be just friends'? While there maybe five in every 10 people who disagree, rest assured, there will be six out of ten who will agree. Looking for a middle ground? Enter the 'fakelationship'.

Emma Jones

Confused? Well, an urban dictionary explains the phenomenon of a fakelationship as a friendship in which the guy and the girl talk, hang out, text, email ...well you get the drift, on a regular basis. A slight alteration in the aforementioned schedule will make either party feel like a huge chunk of their lives is simply missing.

Be warned, fakelationships don't involve hooking up or casual sex â€” in fact, most of them are quite platonic, but the emotional connect, the dependency upon the other individual in the fakelationship runs deep. It is sort of like there is that 'someone' in your life, yet you aren't really going out with that person.

If you are nodding your head in consent, you aren't alone. Anita Shivdas, an aspiring photographer explains, "Fakelationships are the easiest to get into, simply because you don't realize that you are in one! Most relationships, I am sure, everyone will agree, begin along the lines of a friendship. But I can admit that I have in fact, had a couple of fakelationships. It seemed like such a great idea and it did work for me quite well. But then, when things got complicated, the situation became quite messy and although I hate to admit it, I was as emotionally invested as I would be in a real relationship."

To be fair, a fakelationship necessarily need not be one all along and it can blossom into something that is real. "I ended up marrying the woman who I thought would never be anything more than a friend," says Karan Roy, a software engineer, who has been married for five years now. "Sure, there was nothing known as a fakelationship back then, but when I first met Priya (my wife), neither of us were ready for a relationship. However, we gradually found that we relied upon each other's support and connected more on an emotional level first, rather than a physical level. Two years after getting to know each other, getting married seemed like an excellent idea since we were so comfortable with each other," he reminisces.

An instance where a fakelationship would most likely work, according to Harshini Krishnan is probably when either one of the people involved in it is already married. "Well in a way it's true," she chuckles. "When you know you connect that well, emotionally, to someone and that someone happens to be married, naturally questions will pop up. Suddenly it becomes imperative that you define the relationship and you need to name it. In that case, fakelationship does in fact, save the day. It has happened to me before!" she adds.

Like all real relationships, fakelationships have the discretion of being fulfiling and disappointing, enduring as well as brief at the same time. So the real question here is how do you actually 'break up' with someone you are not dating? Well, it may take two to tango, but it takes just one to stop tangoing. The least that you can do is to walk away from it with dignity. Stop answering his/her phone calls, emails, text messages... the works! Hang out with your real friends, yes; the same ones you ignored while you were encompassed in your fakelationship. It will feel like a real relationship breakup but hey, at least you got out of it when you wanted to.

The fact remains that you have relationships with virtually everyone that you meet. Like Harishini says, "You have a relationship with your father, mother, brother, your neighbour - they are just all different kinds. As long as you know what you are getting into and are ready to face the consequences, then the world is indeed your oyster."

Break for lunch, get sterilized in secret

2011-04-24T00:51:00.000-07:00

Women are these days opting for secret ''lunch hour breaks'', where instead of the usual lunch, they get themselves sterilization appointments.

Melissa Marie Peters

A private clinic claims it is the first in the country to offer a "walk in - walk out" ten minute procedure which permanently renders a woman infertile, without leaving any scars.

"Women can elect to have the quick and painless procedure when it suits them - and their partner won't be able to tell," the Telegraph quoted Cadogan Clinic in Knightsbridge as saying in a promotional ad.

Consultant gynaecologist Martin Farrugia, who works for the clinic, said it was a solution for those who didn't want to tell their partners that they did not want any children, or that they felt their family was complete. Others lived "complicated lives" with multiple lovers, which meant they did not want to risk becoming pregnant.

"There are many reasons why a woman might choose to have this treatment here; privacy is certainly one of the advantages of the procedure - there are no scars, so women can take control over the decision," he said.

The operation, called Essure, involves inserting two tiny metal coils through the vagina with the aid of a hysteroscope into both Fallopian tubes. In three months, the tissue around it grows, blocking the tubes entirely. Essure takes ten minutes, involves no incision or stitches, and requires just 45 minutes recovery, so women can go straight back to work, after having the 2,700 pounds operation in their lunch hour, the clinic says.

However, medical experts have criticized the sales pitch being used, which they said was a "cynical" attempt to encourage secrecy in relationships.

"This seems really sad - it looks like a worrying and cynical attempt to trade on dishonesty and deceit. Of course women have to be able to control their fertility, but in a relationship people need to be able to have conversations about this kind of thing - taking a step like this behind a partner's back is so dysfunctional, and if women are doing it just so they can sleep around, they are leaving their partner at all sorts of risks.

Ethically, this is a huge can of worms," said Dr Allan Pacey, a fertility lecturer at the University of Sheffield.

Ann Furedi, chief executive of British Pregnancy Advisory Service, said: "I do think this is pretty cynical. It's really important when women are making a decision like this that it is very carefully considered - for most of them that means a conversation and coming to a shared view with their partner. I can understand why some women might not want to discuss this but I would be very cautious of promoting that as a specific benefit of any treatment."

Farrugia said, "A woman can have the treatment, and return to normal activity straight away, she can even go straight back to work."

He said the operation was also safer than standard procedures, as it does not require a general anaesthetic.

Sex and salvation

2011-04-22T00:50:00.000-07:00

Salvation is the destination. Love is the way. However, sex provides three interesting detours procreation, recreation and creation â€“ on the path for one who wants to be God!

Recently a swami from south India was caught on camera in what the media calls a 'compromising position' with a couple of women. There was a public uproar and he has since been arrested. The swami, in his early thirties, would have gotten away with what is perhaps the result of a hormonal surge had he not vowed to be, well, a swami. Literally, a swami is someone who is a 'master of his senses'. Popular culture tends to look up to a saint or swami as some kind of divine entity.

Strangely but true, there is very little room for sexual adventure on the path to salvation. Yet, Nature wholeheartedly designs a 30-odd-year-old man's body for what Nature needs to do: propagation of the species. Nature puts forth several smart promotional schemes to get this job done through its species. The physical and physiological pleasure associated with the sex surge is the soft packaging for the hard nuts and bolts reality of giving birth to a baby. It is difficult not to be seduced by this pleasure when all our senses converge to draw us to it. Leonardo da Vinci puts this across from the artist's perspective: "The art of procreation and the members employed therein are so repulsive, that if it were not for the beauty of the faces and the adornments of the actors and the pent-up impulse, Nature would lose the human species."

When the contraceptive pill arrived, sex evolved from the basic need of procreation to sex for recreation. The inventive human mind was apparently able to checkmate Nature's ploy of painful procreation by recreating the pleasure of sex without producing a result. This is somewhat like sniffing around in a pastry shop with the intent to do just window-shopping. Nature made sure that the residue of recreational sex remains as sensory impressions in the mind in the form of vasanas â€“ burning embers waiting for the next gust of passion to flare up. These vasanas are potential desires that incarnated themselves at the opportune moment.

The real challenge for human evolution was then to put out the embers of vasanas that transported sex in the head from where it actually belongs. This challenge of transforming sex-for-procreation into sex-for-recreation has been productively met by saints, explorers, artists, writers, inventors, innovators and wealth creators. They lifted the sexual energy from their thoughts and emotions and expressed them in their creative works. While saints like Buddha, Krishna and Christ created new maps of human consciousness; explorers like Galileo and Columbus redrew maps of our physical world.

On the path of salvation celibacy is not a prerequisite but a consequence â€“ an effortless by-product of creativity. Celibacy is a kind of flowering of consciousness and not a moral given, as most sermons would have us believe. It is easier to cover a raging fire with a piece of cloth than to contain libido with sermons. A celibate is like an austere tree in winter that has seen the whole cycle of life from seeding to flowering and stands to rejoice as an enthralled witness in having completed the cycle of creation. The human consciousness scripts the whole journey from being the creatures of sex to the Creator Herself. The "fallen," swami, like any one of us, is somewhere on the path. I would just let him be.

Avoid toxic relationships

2011-04-21T00:50:00.000-07:00

Don't let toxic people affect your well-being

The company you keep is very important, especially for your well-being. Several times, we get stuck with people who bring us down with their negativity, unnecessary nagging, constant whining and pessimistic nature. And before you know it, this negativity starts getting to you, making you irritable, impatient and cranky. Make sure you first realise if they are that way just with you or everyone around them before doing something about it. Keep an eye out for these types...

Lindsay Ellingson

People who live in the past: Some people refuse to let go of the past. While it is okay to look back on memories, some people tend to keep bringing up painful events. They thrive on the anger and bitterness associated with those events and bring you down.
Solution: Excuse yourself when they bring up the subject or tell them that you don't wish to talk about it anymore.

Ones who wallow in self pity: There is nothing more exasperating than people who feel that the world's burden is on their shoulders. Instead of finding solutions to their problems, these people keep wallowing in self pity because they choose not to see another way out.
Solution: Offer help and if they still don't want to change, stay away.

Hypocrites: There can be nothing more putting off than people who say something and do something else. Some friends can be sickly sweet on someone's face and gossip about them the minute they turn their back.
Solution: If you find this happening repeatedly, watch your back. If they could do it to others, they could do the same to you.

Cribbers: Whiners and cribbers like to go on incessantly about everything negative in their lives.
Solution: Help them see the positive side of things and if they don't, don't let their negativity affect you at all.

Mud slingers: These malevolent souls like to make themselves feel better by pulling others down. They enjoy criticising and judging you even though you consider them as friends. They also tend to blame you without reason for what happens in their life.
Solution: Such people behave in this manner because they are insecure. Be patient with them but if they don't change, it's time to bid adieu.

Wash dirty linen in public: Some individuals like to inform the whole world about their scandals and fights and involve as many people as possible in their macabre debates. While it is one thing to hear them, it can get rather ugly if they start affecting you.
Solution: Stay away!

Over analysers: They are frustrated with their lives and want to vent it out on the people around them. They presume and jump to irrational conclusions.
Solution: If someone you know is making a big deal out of everything, tell them that it bothers you.

Interfering people: These busybodies like to keep a thorough tab on what's going on in everybody's lives except their own. They butt in when they aren't needed and can even cause fights between people.
Solution: Be wary around such people and careful about what you say in front of them.

Sure shot ways to know she's flirting

2011-04-19T00:49:00.000-07:00

Ninel Conde

Rachel Fernandes gets the men to reveal some of those sure shot signs that the lady is flirting

This one's exclusively for our male readers. But ladies, it's got more than enough of hints you can make note of and, put to use. For starters, flirting is defined as 'to court triflingly without serious intentions, play at love'. And guys, if you're wondering why we are defining flirting for you, it's because we are going to tell you what are those sure shot signs to tell that the lady is flirting with you, or to put it in street lingo, hitting on you. Opportunity never knocks twice and missing the obvious signs is not at all a good idea. So read on to know what you just cannot afford to miss. And mind it, we, quite literally, have the dope straight from the horse's mouth.

Playing with her hair
"If she moves her hand through her hair repeatedly or twirls the strands into a lock and lets it absent-mindedly fall across her face, it's a sure shot sign that she's flirting," says Stanley Martins, a project manager with an MNC. This incidentally was the one sign that every man we asked told us.

Laugh riot
According to actor Sudhanshu Pandey, if a girl laughs at almost everything you are saying, even though it may not be funny, it could mean just two things. "Either she has a bad sense of humour or she is flirting with you. I'd like to believe it's the latter," he adds.

Eye spy
How she makes eye contact is a dead give away of whether the lady is flirting or not. "She will remain focussed on you no matter who else is around. Also, she will make all efforts to be a part of your group or sit at your table so that you are aware of her presence," says Shreedhar Kabra, marketing manager of a pharmaceutical firm.

Damsel in distress act
"If she's always looking for opportunities to enlist your help on some task or the other, no matter how trivial they are, it means she's interested in you. When she wants to flirt, she will take every possible chance to touch you or hold your hand and will pout if you don't respond," says businessman Kishore Butani.

Get closer baby
According to musician Kieran Athaide, a girl who is flirting will not miss any opportunity to get physically as close to you as possible. "Even when you're in a large group, she'll take the seat next to or right opposite you. She'll even attempt to get close to you in the virtual world, over chat," he says.

Decking up for you
How many times have you been out on a date and the girl you are with excuses herself at regular intervals to 'freshen up'. And everytime she comes out, you'll notice fresh makeup or that her hair has been rearranged. "This means she is going out of her way to get you to notice her," says Ravi Kamath, a graphic designer.

She makes a lot of hand gestures
"She'll move her hands a lot during the conversation. There will be gestures for each and everything, even if it's not necessary. This is her way of drawing your attention towards her. And if you comment on her nail colour or some hand jewellery she is wearing, she'll blush," says Marino Fernandes who works with an IT firm.

Leggy affairs
"If a woman is flirting with you, she will rub her legs against yours. That of course is apart from every opportunity for physical contact â€” like touching your hand, or smoothing out your hair, or straightening out a non existant crease on you shirt," says MNC employee Dhruv Pandit.

6 stages to attain sexual nirvana

2011-04-18T00:48:00.000-07:00

Bar Refael

Not having sex on a regular basis can kill a relationship. Keep these tips handy and add some spark in your sex life...

Schedule sex
To ensure sex doesn't fall off the priority chart, decide in advance when to make love. Then, just do it! It may sound unromantic, but it's better to have a quickie session than none at all.

Be appreciative
Showing appreciation regularly not only makes you feel better about yourself, it gives a romantic boost to your relationship. It takes you back in time, when you spent time appreciating and adoring your partner.

Share housework
Housework can be a source of niggling arguments. So divide the jobs, and together work out who does what and when. This cuts out resentment â€“ one of the single biggest reasons why women stop wanting sex.

Bedroom spunk
De-clutter the bedroom. Make the bed look inviting, use scented candles and put up pictures of just the two of you. Ban laptops, TV and everything work related.

Have a good argument
Voicing a disagreement prevents any resentment from building up, but a blame game is a no-no. Once this is done, move on and keep the past where it belongs!

Go dancing
Just turn on some music and dance. Dancing flushes the human system with dopamine, which means you feel happier and the happiness is further carried to the bedroom.

Can a sensual and soothing massage act as a precursor for great sex?
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In pursuit of perfection

2011-04-16T00:48:00.000-07:00

Julieta Gomez

All of us have some vanity. Vanity is nature's insurance for self-preservation and to that extent it is a necessity.

Heather Morris

But it was also vanity that drove Snow White's stepmother to act in a way that eventually led to her downfall. The transition from what is part of self-preservation to that which enables self-destruction is so smooth that it is difficult to separate self-obsession from self-preservation. Snow White's stepmum was driven to ask the mirror the same question everyday: "Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who is the most beautiful of all?"

Not everyone is vain about their looks alone, their vanity could lie elsewhere. Each one has something he thinks he is good at. Even ascetics have their share of vanity in their power of being austere or "proximity to the superpower". The one who is vain about her hair is careful when washing it or brushing it. The one who is vain about his house, takes pain to maintain it. Vanity is also the path to perfection, which is a worthy goal to strive for. But sometimes life does not respect your vanity and an accident, age or event may strike at it. How then does one cope?

There are two kinds of vanity. One is vanity of the spirit. That, one must guard against. The spirit has to be joyous, happy and positive. The other kind of vanity is that which is born from ideas and norms laid down by society. This kind of vanity is what we all often gloat in. It is important for us to get the approval of fellow beings and so within this area of accepted social conventions we try to compete with others. This kind of vanity is not self-preserving. On the contrary it is creating an illusory image of the self with which one begins to identify oneself. And then a rigidity of ways sets in and we are not flexible any longer. We have all heard the story of the bush and the tall tree which faced a storm together. The bush being flexible bent with the direction of the wind while the tree broke.

The cause of this rigidity is the appreciation we get from society. We get addicted to it and forget our real self, sometimes even what we actually love doing.

In a simple way this is what all religions also mean when they advocate detachment. Take yourself less seriously. If you have a few ounces of extra flesh on you, as long as it is not a health hazard, take it easy. If you have not got the marks you wanted or what your parents wanted to equal the odd peer who always gets higher marks, chill. When you allow yourself a fall from your vanity, you may realise you actually need help. Do not hesitate to ask or take help. You are what you are which is a happy person preserving your spirit and that is the only thing which will decide your success in life.

Narcissus took himself so seriously that he fell in love with himself and perished in that self-love. Love your spirit. Love the essence of your being which is always unique and special and in pursuit of perfection. Where you feel you have to improve, work at it. But where society feels you have not made the mark, make an indelible one with your vain spirit, even if it takes a little longer to do so.

Resuming sex after abstinence

2011-04-15T00:45:00.000-07:00

Researchers at Indiana University School of Medicine have offered new insights into why sexually experienced girls resume sexual activity after periods of abstinence.

This information may help tailor effective counselling to prevent sexually transmitted diseases ( STDs) and pregnancy in high school girls and beyond.

Characteristics associated with the risk of a teen girl having sex after a period of abstinence differed according to how long she had been abstinent.

In the short term, a young woman was more likely to have sex when her relationship with her partner was good, when the girl felt good and when she was interested in having sex.

Long term, sexual interest and relationship quality were the two most important predictors of resumption of sex after a period of abstinence.

"Sexuality is an important developmental task for teens. They need to go from childhood to sexually mature adulthood while remaining sexually disease free and without getting pregnant. We conducted this study to better understand the factors that influenced teenage girls who became sexually active again after a period of abstinence. With this new understanding we can better help young women remain healthy and avoid unwanted pregnancy," said study first author Dr Mary A Ott.

Diagnosis of a STD was associated with a reduced risk of subsequent sex for a short time. However having an STD increased risk for sexual activity in the intermediate time period and was unrelated to the decision to have sex in the long run.

The researchers predicted that the switch may reflect either relationship turmoil after diagnosis of an STD, followed by 'make up' sex, or may reflect adherence to Center for Disease Control and Prevention recommendations for a period of abstinence following STD treatment, followed by resumption of previous sexual activity.

"Either way, the findings suggest that counselling only about abstinence after a sexually transmitted infection is insufficient. Clinicians should anticipate resumption of sexual behaviour and tailor counselling appropriately," said Ott.

The researchers also found that, in the short term, girls who characterized themselves as irritable, angry or unhappy were unlikely to return to sexual activity after a period of abstinence.

The finding contradicts anecdotal information that depressed individuals are likely to engage in sexual activity.

The researchers evaluated 354 sexually active urban teen girls for up to four and a half years between 1999 and 2006.

Participants reported a total of 9,236 abstinence periods, which averaged 31 days.

"Having data from the same group of young women over such a long period of time, as they go through periods of having sex and times when they are not having sex and as they change partners, enables us to understand a complex process of motivation in a way that previous studies have not. What we have established in this study are the major factors associated with the decision to resume sex," said study senior author Dr J Dennis Fortenberry.

The findings have been published in the latest issue of Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health.

Why men’s libidos are flagging

2011-04-14T00:43:00.000-07:00

Experts have come forward to explain the reasons behind the dwindling desire in men to make love.

Danica Thrall

A survey by Relate, a couples' counselling organisation, found the number of men who had no desire to have sex with their partners had increased by 40 per cent as compared with men ten years ago.

Paula Hall, a counsellor with Relate and the author of 'Improving Your Relationship for Dummies', said the rise in Internet pornography and stress and anxiety around work and money may have something to indicate.

"Twenty years ago, pornography was something you had to search out and buy. Now it's on every home computer, and more and more men are ruining their sex lives as a result, because they can meet their desires without their wife," the New York Daily News quoted Hall as saying.

She further explained, "Extreme emotional states, such as stress and anxiety, affect men's libidos very negatively. Huge numbers of men have lost their jobs, and many more are worried about losing theirs, or have to work extra hard to make up the work that used to be done by those who are now redundant. They go home to their wives with stress hormones coursing through their bodies, and they just can't feel arousal under those circumstances."

Hall added, "In a few cases, men really do just want something new and different. But in most it's either a hidden resentment - for example, a man will feel that if his partner has gained weight it's because she can't be bothered to make an effort for him any more - or simply that he has stopped seeing her as a sexual being.''

But the most common explanation, according to Relate, was "relationship reasons. Many women don't realize that men's levels of desire are closely linked to other aspects of the relationship - just like theirs are."

Michele Weiner Davis, author of 'The Sex Starved Wife,' also pointed out, "As a society, we've perpetuated this myth about the ever-turned-on-male. But all my research suggests that the differences between the genders aren't as great as we've been led to believe."

Singles prefer dating hotties

2011-04-13T00:42:00.000-07:00

Rosa Acosta Stretching

When it comes to choosing romantic partners, the more potential mates a person meets, the more his or her decision is influenced, concludes a new study.

Jessica Hart

In particular, when people have a large number of potential dating partners to select among, they respond by paying attention to different types of characteristics - discarding attributes such as education, smoking status, and occupation in favour of physical characteristics such as height and weight.

A number of studies in recent years have looked at what happens to humans when faced with extensive choice - too many kinds of chocolate, or too many detergents to choose from at the grocery store.
Under such circumstances, consumer psychologists believe that the brain may become "overwhelmed," potentially leading to poorer quality choice or choice deferral.

Psychological scientist Alison Lenton, of the University of Edinburgh, and economist Marco Francesconi, of the University of Essex, wanted to know if the same was true of mate choice.

"Is having too many mate options really like having too many jams?" they asked.

To find out how people respond to relatively limited versus extensive mate choice, the researchers analysed data from 84 speed dating events, which is where people meet with a series of potential dates for three minutes each. Afterward, the men and women report their choices (a "yes" or "no" for each person).
It should surprise no one that choosers generally preferred people who were taller, younger, and well educated.

Women also preferred partners who weren't too skinny, and men preferred women who weren't overweight. Beyond that, though, the attributes that speed daters paid attention to depended on how many opposite-sex speed daters attended the event.

At bigger speed dating events, with 24 or more dates, both male and female choosers were more likely to decide based on attributes that could be judged quickly, such as their dates' height, and whether they were underweight, normal weight, or overweight.

At smaller events, choosers were more likely to make decisions based on attributes that take longer to identify and evaluate, such as their dates'' level of education, their type of job, and whether or not the person smokes.

"Obviously, I think we look for different attributes in partners than what we look for in a chocolate, a jam or a 401(k) plan. But one of the points we're trying to make in this article is it's the same brain we're carrying around. There are constraints on what our brains can do â€“ they're quite powerful, but they can't pay attention to everything at once," said Lenton.

And if the brain is faced with abundant choice, even about who to go out with, it may make decisions based on what it can evaluate most quickly.

Thus, this previously invisible aspect of the choice environment has the potential to determine one's romantic fate.

The study is published in Psychological Science , a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.

Healthy lifestyle inspires women

2011-04-12T00:42:00.000-07:00

Women who spend time around peers who have a healthy lifestyle are more likely to eat well and exercise, a study has pointed out.

Candice Swanepoel

A survey of 3,610 women by Deakin University researchers found that they were most likely to follow the eating and physical activity behaviours of those around them.

"Our study considered the impact of social norms on physical activity and eating behaviours, including consumption of fast food, soft drink and fruit and vegetables," said researcher Kylie Ball from Deakin, reports the International Journal of Behavioural Nutrition and Physical Activity.

"We found that women who spent time around healthy peers were more likely to also eat well and exercise," Ball said, according to a Deakin release.

Ball said there are a number of reasons why the healthy habits of people around them seemed to rub off on the participants in the study.

The importance of social norms in influencing a healthy lifestyle highlighted by the study opens up opportunities for developing intervention strategies aimed at modifying social norms, Ball said.

Approaching Girls During The Day

2011-04-11T22:41:00.000-07:00

Not so long ago I decided it was time for me to start approaching at unconventional places. Buses, subway, the street, libraries, stores and supermarkets, just to give a few examples, are all enormous possibilities. After all, during the day I see much better looking women around – and the competition is far less numerous. Few people dare to approach during daytime and that’s something great. What they do in the end is just to leave the way clear for us.

Still, the reality is that it is really hard to make those first approaches and to start doing this seriously. There are a lot of prejudices and a lot of fear. It’s just not normal to be doing this and feels naturally awkward. But the goal is to get over it and start taking advantage of all the possibilities approaching during the day opens.

What I first realized is that when approaching women in these unconventional places there are two important things to take into account:

1- You have to inspire safety.
2- You have to be as natural as possible.

Inspiring safety is a vital point. If you don’t do it, you’ll create unnecessary tension and you will most surely end up failing as well. How safe is for her to speak with you is directly related with your appearance. Make sure to be well dressed, clean and don’t be wearing anything that could label you as creepy.

Then, be careful choosing where and when to approach. A dark alley in the late afternoon and with few people around is not the best spot and I guess you kind of understand why. Instead, you should focus on approaching in an environment that would look safe to her. A park, a bus full of people or a well-lit store are a few examples.

But safety is not enough; it’s kind of an absolute necessity for you to start. Once you have it, the trick is to be natural. It would be normal for you, me and everyone to be nervous in situations like these ones, but you got to be as natural as possible. Do as if you would be speaking with a friend or someone you know. The best way to do this is to approach fast! The more time you take to approach the girl you want, the more nervous you’ll get. You just have to forget about everything and go forward.

Then, as for the approach itself there are another group of important things you should take special attention to.

Be direct - Most of the internet says that the best way to approach women during the day is by saying some small thing about the environment, making some cute anecdote or, in the end, giving some indirect talk. The truth is that they are all wrong. In these kind of situations nothing is more effective than being direct. Don’t do small talk, don’t take girl’s time saying some random comments. Get straight to the point: you think she is cute and you had to meet her. Speak about her, make her feel important and, above all, comfortable.

Be positive – And by all means, don’t play defensively. One girl might come and tell you “Do you usually do this?” or “Do you always approach women in the cafe?”. In this case, just say that yes, you do. Be natural and keep playing her game. Be positive, smile and give value. That’s the key. As soon as you get in a defensive stance, your options will start waning.

Failure is an option – Not every girl you approach actually wants to be approached. Few have boyfriends, another couple are just uninterested in meeting you and a last few just won’t like you. So assume that rejection will happen. It’s certainly embarrassing to be rejected in public and in front of many other people, but it’s all worth the risk.

Practice is the key – As in every other skill, picking up girls is all about practice. Your first street approaches might be a big failure. I still remember the first couple of times I tried and how horrible it was to be sent away. But never give up and keep going, keep practicing and you’ll get better at it. It’s not easy to become one dangerous man during the day, but it’s actually not that hard either. If you seriously want to do this, put objectives. Approach at least one woman in an unconventional place everyday. If you can, approach even more. But do it! Practice and make a habit of it!

This is the general theory and my experience with approaching women during the day and at unconventional places. In the coming weeks I’ll be posting tips and guides focusing on every specific place and what I believe are the best strategies to take. Guides on flirting in the subway, the shopping mall, in the park and so on will be coming soon!

Is your woman faking it in bed?

2011-04-11T00:41:00.000-07:00

Dr Suman Bijlani lists women's common sexual concerns and what they mean for men

Jessica Hart

Wonder why your wife/girlfriend seems "off sex" of late? Why does she complain of a headache just when you are in the mood? Fact is, as with men, sex is a big issue for women too. Only, due to conditioning or lack of awareness, most women don't articulate them.

Generally, women realise they have sexual problems only when:
Â» It affects their relationship
Â» Their partner starts complaining
Â» When they are depressed
Â» When they themselves get involved in an extra-marital affair.

Also, the nature of problems differs slightly with age.

Younger women:
Sexual problems relate more to body image issues and 'performance anxiety'. Especially if they feel sex is the only way they can hold on to their relationship.

Older women:
Sex boils down to a chore or duty after years of marriage/relationship. It then manifests in pains, aches, lack of orgasm and other physical symptoms.

The bottomline:
Don't blame your dull sex life on her PMS or mood swings. Gynaecologist Dr Suman Bijlani of Gyneguide tells you how to read between the lines.

Problem: Lack of interest
Message: Foreplay continues throughout the day
A woman wants her man to make her feel special throughout the day. This sets up her mood for the special night. In a marriage, being interested in the house or taking care of the children is important. Conflicts with kids affects her relationship with her husband.
Hence make that special effort to show you care â€” through messages, gifts, a special outing etc.

Problem: Poor body image
Message: I want to feel beautiful when I'm with you
A woman might shy away from intercourse due to poor body image â€” a result of low self-esteem. If her partner nags her about her lack of perfection, it can affect her sexual confidence. It's foolhardy to say things like 'your hips are too wide' or 'breasts are too small' and later expect her to perform in bed. For a woman, the only solution is to work on herself as a person. Men get attracted by a woman's confidence.

Problem: Faking it
Message: Orgasm isn't everything
Men tend to focus only on orgasm, but often for a woman, great foreplay is enough. Hence, ensure she is happy with the quality of sex. If she fakes an orgasm, it means she isn't satisfied and doesn't trust you enough to tell you. Such a behaviour points to chinks in the relationship, hence work on them first.

Problem: Frequency issues
Message: I am no sex machine
Some men want sex every day, but with women, many other factors need to be in place. There is no ideal time or frequency for sex,but if the frequency of desire is very disparate, seek help. If a woman is stressed or has resentments towards her man, it reflects in lack of interest in sex.

Problem: Pain during sex
Message: Be considerate in bed
A common problem, painful intercourse can result from vaginal infection or if the partner is very aggressive. Pain is of two types. Superficial pain: which occurs at the time of insertion. Or deep pain: that's usually pathological or due to endometriosis or infections. This needs to be taken seriously. Using a lubricant or increasing foreplay can help.

Problem: Body odour
Message: Please be pleasant
Both men and women can suffer from fungal infections, tinea infection and similar problems that lead to body odour. To stimulate a woman's interest in sex, it is essential that the man maintains a pleasant personality and smells good as well. Taking the point further, he should make an effort to look good for his woman. It leads to a better response in bed.

Problem: Fear of pregnancy
Message: Take care of protection
It's often the fear of pregnancy that makes women shy away from sex. For good sex, it's important for both partners to be equally aware and responsible for contraception.

‘I stay away from girls!’

2011-04-10T00:41:00.000-07:00

His career graph has been steadily on the upswing, but then, this strapping young man has written his destiny with his own sweat and blood.

Candice Swanepoel

With his fast and accurate deliveries, he has broken the myth that Vidarbha is a barren land when it comes to producing the cricketing heroes. After foraying into IPL 2010, he finally broke into the big league, when he replaced an injured Praveen Kumar during the World Twenty20 tournament in May 2010. All set to zoom off to South Africa after being selected in the Indian Test squad, fast bowler Umesh Yadav gets chatty with NT on his fetish for bikes and bunking classes...

Celebration mode
Now that he's made it to the Indian Test squad so early in his career, ask him if he has already celebrated this big moment of life, and Umesh says in his inimitable simplistic manner: "We were playing Ranji in Kochi when I got the good news. We had all got into the party mood too, but since we were totally fagged out, we just went off to sleep."

College lad
He may not have got the chance to party with his teammates, but he sheepishly informs that his "college-mates did plan a celebration" for him. Does that mean he's still a student? He replies with a grin: "Yes, I'm doing my B.Com final from Babanrao Tayawade College, but unfortunately I've been bunking the exams for the past two years because of my matches. But, I soon plan to make amends! Actually, I have been bunking classes to play football and cricket ever since my school days, and my father would thrash me when he heard about my bunking binges. But, now he follows my game very keenly!"

Shoo gals!
And how does he handle the adulation from all those young gals, who've started admiring this 23-year-old, down-to-earth lad? "I'm a very shy person, and ever since that I can remember, I've been like this. Meri himmat hii nahin hoti ladkiyon se baat karne kii," he confesses with disarming honesty. But, has a haute babe ever tried to charm him and break his wall of resistance? "At one of the IPL nites, I was dancing with my teammates, and one of the girlfriends of a foreign player came over and started dancing right in front of me. I was so embarrassed by that direct approach that I quickly made my exit," says he.

Biker boy!
If girls make him blush, the mere mention of bikes perks him up. Ask him if he's following in the footsteps of MS Dhoni and Umesh says, "MSD has a great taste in bikes and cars, but my interest is relegated to bikes only, I don't go in for very expensive ones! But yes, I like to change my bike every year and it's so thrilling vrooming off all by yourself!"

Shopping for mom
Interestingly, Umesh is also a big "movie buff" and he doesn't "miss any film of Katrina and Akshay Kumar." And what else makes the man go? "Shopping for my mother is another thing that gives me a high," he says. So, what does he plan to shop for his mom in South Africa? "I plan to buy some nice gold earrings and chains for her," says he gleefully and signs off.

Five girly tantrums men can’t fathom

2011-04-06T00:40:00.000-07:00

Men maybe complicated but when it comes to their women, they often take things at face value. He plays it safe by reading the obvious, often leaving his woman flustered and frustrated.

Jillian Beyor

By feigning sleep she might want him to make the first move in bed, but he conveniently chooses to toss sides and fall into deep slumber. Of course, some men do suspect there is more below the surface, but they had rather not explore that complex tangle of emotions that make up a woman's mental landscape. Here are five girly tantrums, men prefer to overlook and women can't stop sulking about ...

When she says it is too expensive
You are out with your girlfriend and she notices this chic designer handbag displayed in a glass shelf. She stops to give it a long look and says "This is too expensive; I cannot buy it right now". This means; why don't you offer to buy it for me. Shilpa (28), a call-centre executive, explains this best, "One time I was out with my boyfriend for lunch. As I passed the Da Milano store, I noticed this really sexy yellow bag. It was obscenely priced, and I weakly admitted that I couldn't afford it." But all he could come up with was, "the bag is anyway not that great and definitely not worth the money." "I was so disappointed."

When you are glued to the television and she snuggles up to you
You might find her sudden interest in football very encouraging, as she walks into the living room and cosies up beside you. In such a scenario, most men begin to ramble about their favorite football club and what makes a Zidane legendary. Ask your girl, she definitely doesn't wish to learn about your passion for the sport, but your passion for her. "Seduce me and make love to me on the couch", is what she implies. Content manager, Rohit (32), finds this behavior of his fiancÃ© bemusing. "She otherwise hates me for spending time before the television. But there are times when she gets so lovey-dovey and settles down to watch TV with me, and takes the greatest interest in whatever I am viewing."

When she praises another man
This means there is something you need to pick up from that other man. It also can be read as an attempt to make you jealous. There is never a flimsy reason why she mentions about this third person. You'd better be all ears and try to decode her real purpose. "I used to often broach the topic of a certain colleague, and deliberately stress on how he offers to help his wife with cooking and gives her a hand in all household chores," chips in Anita (37), ground staff with an airline. "But he would hardly pay much heed, and casually say, "poor guy", without even realizing that this is precisely what I ask of him too." Perhaps Anita's husband of six-years thought him another mundane fellow worker.

When she calls herself fat
Think twice before responding to such a declaration. Your agreeing with her can make things worse. All she needs you to tell her is, she ain't fat at all, and that you find her desirable the way she is. "After putting on a new dress, I would ask my boyfriend how I looked. Whether I appeared fat," says Shruthi (24), a marketeer with a news channel. "And he would lamely agree that I needed to exercise and can be back in shape." Remember, this is a rare occasion when she would love to be contradicted.

When she talks about her girlfriends
You are expected to be a mute listener in such a situation. Give her a patient hearing, and do not contribute or show interest in a certain friend. To get you interested in her female friends is not what she intends, and shall not take it kindly if you attempted it. Megha (21), a college-goer, gets very annoyed with her boyfriend when he displays un-called for curiosity in her girlfriends. "I lose the thread of the conversation. He digresses me into giving him unnecessary details about my friends, which I find revolting." Agreed, she is telling you about her pals, but you are only required to nod in agreement rather than get into a discussion, or worse still, oppose her.

Hottest sex variations

2011-04-05T00:39:00.000-07:00

When your relationship isn't a humdrum affair, then why should your sex life be dull and lifeless? There's more to a rocking sex life than just simple, great sex.

Jillian Beyor

A marvelous sexual connection includes different kinds of sex, even the ones you haven't dared to experiment with perhaps. Check out the different kinds of love making acts you and your lover can indulge in for a night of passion.

Experimental sex
Couples in long-term relationship often opt for this kind of act as they miss the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. With time, a couple's love life loses its zing and to get it back one needs to try new things. "Try pushing the regular comfort zones. It may mean trying a new position or a new room in the house; you can even go for thrilling experiences like making love on the terrace or in the balcony or at some public place." explains Meera Wahi, married for last nine years.
Why to try : There's nothing like the moment when you're struggling for breath thinking, "That was amazing, we've never done that before." Experts suggest that no matter how long you've been in a relationship, you need to have an earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while. What's more try pushing the boundaries, as this will heighten the trust between you two, create an exceptional comfort level and minimise the possibilities of casual flings outside the relationship. So, go ahead and clue in to your partner's covert bedroom urges to transform the every-night mediocre sex to a mind-blowing encounter. You'll harvest the sensually gratifying perks too.

Necessary sex
Necessary sex can be explained as 'just-for-the-heck-of-it sex', which is vital for a long-term relationship to retain its sexual spark. These are your very special, intimate 'me-time' moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift spirits. Supports Mihika, a 31-year-old, new mom, "As a new mom, I am tired most of the times. However, I make special effort to get going in the bed and this makes me feel closer to him. Even if the sex isn't that good, it feels like the relationship has become stronger."
Why to try : Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good about your sexual prowess. Experts say that regular physical contact actually tunes the brain into the need to feel emotionally close. By making sex a regular habit, you can open new avenues of bonding as a couple. Moreover, doing it sometimes when you are not in the perfect mood can gear you up for something much hotter the next time around. And most importantly, don't forget how much a hit-the-roof orgasm does to keep your sex spark bright.

Bummer sex
Admit it, for it's something that's bound to happen. An awkward grunt, a stupid expression, somebody walking in unexpectedly or may be slipping down the bed, all of us can have these embarrassing moments that we would like to ideally forget. Akhil, a 27-year-old choreographer, recollects, "We'd been together since last one year. The last time we were having sex, her roommate just walked in. We didn't know what to say. Finally I said, 'Whoops!' and we laughed our heart out. The voyeurism added to the fire, needless to say."
Why to try : Don't fret about imperfect moments in your sex life; just rejoice and hold your lover tight. Your ability to deal with embarrassing situations reflects the strength of your relationship, say experts. Real understanding is about being able to feel at ease with each other in awkward circumstances as well. Emotional presence and trust is the biggest aphrodisiac of all and often provides the sexual thrill which can last a lifetime. React positively to embarrassing sexual mishaps and she will add funny, cute and smart to her mental list of reasons as to why she chooses to be intimate with you.

Vacation sex
A new, romantic locale often allows lovers to rediscover each another in a new light. Amidst trying different platters, adventure sports or checking out a variety of nightlife activities, every evening feels like a special date night. Vacation sexcapades act as a catalyst to reignite the passion in a relationship and make a couple feel more connected. "When on a vacation, you're at your most carefree best, which means you can try out new things you won't have to be accountable for at home. We went to Kerala on a friend's recommendation, and needless to say we had the best sex ever," shares Sidhartha, a 39-year-old business man.
Why to try : Something about leaving the laptop behind, turning the cell phone off and relaxing makes the sex better. Experts say that being in a totally alien environment sparks a sense of adventure and boldness in couples. All of this adds up to stimulating sex, which is more gratifying and more memorable than what couples have at home. Moreover, a vacation is the best place to get 'sexperimental'. When people encounter new experiences, dopamine spikes in the brain, eliciting a feeling of all encompassing lust. This is one of the reasons a vast majority of relationship counsellors recommend regular getaways as one of the things that can help strengthen your bond.

Make-up sex
There is nothing like engaging in a sexual reconciliation after a long, gut-wrenching argument. The quality of such sex is directly proportional to the amount of time spent apart; courtesy - the phenomenal release of emotions. "After all the screaming and blaming is over and we proceed towards reconciling, I fall in love with him all over again. This after-fight sex gives me the same kick as that 'beginning sex' when we first meet. All of that anger is released into passion and it's like we just want to tear down the place," admits Mehul, who's been married for seven years.
Why to try : Experts believe that make-up sex is a quick and effective way to get rid of the frustrations from a past argument. Also, it gives women the opportunity to be sexually aggressive, which might be a welcome change. This kind of sex is overloaded with passion because you have the rush of very intense emotions, from anger to joy. And when you're intimate like that, you're likely to have a strong orgasm, which releases Oxytocin, the bonding hormone which creates a physiological bonding mechanism between you and your beau.

7 must-know sex secrets

2011-04-04T00:39:00.000-07:00

Guys, here's your chance to know the seven sex secrets women wish their partner knew

Jillian Beyor

A good talk is a great aphrodisiac
Many women find talk a great turn-on. For them, talking and feeling loved are very important. Good conversation during walks or while the couple is relaxing can be a great aphrodisiac. A man could tell his woman how much he loves her, which acts as a reassurance that he is with her mentally during those intimate moments.

Many women are anxious about their looks
For a couple that has been together for long, sometimes it is natural that women may feel that their partner may find them less alluring. Because of this some women undress only under the cover of darkness. Caring men can sense such anxieties. There is no need to lie and say she's gorgeous if she isn't, nor is there a need to say that she is not attractive anymore. One can always appreciate and praise what you do find attractive.

For a woman sex isn't separate from rest of her life
On the other hand, men tend to compartmentalise, feeling that stressful aspects of life can be parked mentally and separated from sexual activity. Women need good feelings and experiences during the day to have satisfying sex. How her lover treats her out of bed, greatly influences her response in bed. Inattentiveness, harsh language, rude tones, hurtful words, and criticism can make it difficult for a woman to get involved, feel enthusiastic and be passionate during sex.

An orgasm is not a necessity
Many men feel that a good lover is one who can bring his woman to climactic sexual culmination. It is great to have such moments, but aren't always essential. Many women feel pressure from partners and even from themselves to reach an orgasm. Sometimes instead of having orgasms, women prefer to engage in just foreplay.

Sex need not be a serious act
Playfulness is a great quality. Many men are far too serious about sex. They forget to laugh, be romantically mischievous, have fun. Playfulness and light-heartedness can make intimate moments enjoyable and relaxing. This takes performance pressure off from both partners.

Women cherish non-sexual touching and tenderness
Women love romance, cuddling, hand-holding and kissing. But many women complain that their men never do this except during foreplay. A woman should make her man realise the joy of touching. As you give him a relaxing massage and stroke his face and hair tenderly, he starts experiencing the joy of this kind of non-sexual touching. Tell your man what makes you feel loved.

Warm attention after sex is important
A woman's need for tender moments goes beyond the actual lovemaking. Some women complain that men fall asleep immediately after the act. It is true that when a man is having sex, his endorphin level is very high. Almost immediately after ejaculation, he goes through a refractory phase where he loses his erection and all his systems gear down. In females this phase happens gradually. However, if you don't like him falling asleep immediately, tell him without putting him down. Alternatively, let him sleep in your arms for a few minutes and gently wake him up afterwards.

Beat awkwardness in the bedroom

2011-04-02T00:38:00.000-07:00

Krystal Modelando

Nothing could be more embarrassing than those awkward situations while you are having sex. Certain reactions of your body are inevitable, so the best solution to deal with them is to pass them by smiling, not joking or making any uninspired gestures.

Megan Voss

Probably the most awkward situation a man can find himself into is the lack of an erection. Embarrassing for him, frustrating for her, the lack of erection may be caused by various reasons, among which could be the presence of a condom or the lack of synchronization concerning the level of excitement, stress etc.

Most women endure the "bizarre noises" phenomenon sooner or later. Vaginal noises during penetration can create inhibitions or they can even lead to the unexpected end of the intercourse and if your partner is sweating, it may be because she is experiencing feelings of shame, so do not have any reactions which may force her to give you explanations. Vaginal ripples have nothing to do with anal gases, they occur because of the pressure of the air that is going into the vagina due to friction.

The orgasm is a much too complicated a sensation to explain. But there is the certainty that the reactions during an orgasm vary from individual to individual. What do you do when you find yourself screaming with pleasure? How do you react when she moans so that your neighbors can hear her or she makes sounds that express more pain than pleasure? How do you react when you hear her talk dirty in bed? No one says that this kind of behaviour is inadequate in your intimate moments, but you could try and attempter yourselves if you go too wild.

As unpleasant as it may appear, sex does cause the desire to urinate in some. Although the chances to happen are small, there are women, especially, who cannot control their urinal splatter during intercourse, because they are afraid while they are having an orgasm their body will relax and they will not be able to abstain themselves, because the penis is putting too much pressure on the splatter during certain positions or because she had simply drank too many liquids and she did not urinate before the intercourse.

It is recommended to solve this kind of problems because penetration while a splatter contains liquid may cause cystitis. The vaginal lubrication is very important so that your partner does not feel any pain during penetration. But what about the cases when she "ejaculates" more than you? Although it is not a problem only from an esthetic point of view, excessive lubrication sometimes diminishes the pleasant sensations during intercourse and may cause the penis to slide in unwanted moments.

Nevertheless, if both partners accept each others little incidents, everything will go smoothly in bed.

Why we don't talk about sex openly?

Do you weave sexual fantasies?

2011-04-01T00:38:00.000-07:00

Luciana Oliveto

Yes we are talking about erotic or sexual fantasies! Sexual fantasies helps in joyful lovemaking and it also shows how adventurous you are to try out new things.

Tina Cutrone

Dr. Navin Taneja sexologist explains: "Fantasizing is a normal phenomenon. Youngsters indulge in it more, though adults too feel excited doing the same. With time fantasies are changing, but approach and feelings are the same."

So how over the top can a sexual fantasy go? A few unfold their thoughts:

Bare effect!
Sanal Thomas, 26, environmental engineer says: "My wildest fantasy is to see my girl making love to me with no one present in the room. The door is half ajar and I am gazing her doing all crazy acts. How mad it would be!"

Limousine and champagne!
Ayushi Agarwal, 20, shares: "My boyfriend and I are in a limousine in a foreign country. I am wearing all black attire. He is gazing at me impishly and drags me into his lap. I just say, 'Honey I am all yours!' Rest of the tale you can guess!"

A terrorist attack!
27 years old Kalpana Sharma says: "It was a terrorist attack. Me and my husband get a place in garage to save ourselves from terrorist's eye. And there we steam up....rest you know!"

Revealing clothes!
Mayank Panjratan says: "I would like to catch my girl in the kitchen where she is busy doing work. I am analyzing her first then I grab her from her waist. Her wet white revealing outfit and tangled hair drive me wild. I hold her tight and I fondle her crazy spots."

It’s official: Men are hornier than women

2011-03-31T00:37:00.000-07:00

Karen Dejo

Innumerable studies have gone into finding out 'reality of the male sex drive', but now a new study claims that men really are 'hornier' than women.

Roy F. Baumeister at Florida State University, Kathleen Catanese at a Midwestern college and Kathleen Vohs, a professor of marketing, set out to find the truth, reports Oxford University Press.

They approached the problem like this. Imagine two women (or two men for that matter), such that one of them has truly a stronger sex drive than the other. What differences in preferences and behaviour would you expect to see between the two of them?

After months of reading and compiling results, the answer was clear. There is a substantial difference, and men have a much stronger sex drive than women. To be sure, there are some women who have frequent, intense desires for sex, and there are some men who don't, but on average the men want it more.

Every marker pointed to the same conclusion: Men think about sex more often than women do. Men have more sexual fantasies, and these encompass more different acts and more different partners.

Men masturbate more than women â€“ much more. Masturbation is considered by sex researchers to be one of the purest measures of sex drive, because it is not much constrained by external factors (such as the need to find a partner, or the risk of pregnancy or disease).

Men take more risks and incur more costs for sex. They want sex more often than women, whether one is talking about young couples or people who have been married to the same person for forty years.

Men also want more different partners than women want, and men like a greater variety of sex acts than women do.

Men initiate sex often and refuse it rarely. Women initiate it much more rarely and refuse it much more often than men. Given an opportunity for sex, men leap at it, while women say no.

Women find it easier than men to go without sex. An adult woman who is between relationships can easily go for months, sometimes even years, hardly thinking of sex and not minding if she doesn't have it. Men go nuts without sex (or at least some do). A man who loses his girlfriend will often start masturbating by the next day or two.

Even when both men and women make a heartfelt, sacred vow of chastity, the men find it much harder to keep than the woman. Catholic priests have much more sexual activity than the nuns, even though both have committed themselves to the single standard of complete abstinence and have backed this up with a sacred promise in the context of the most important beliefs and values in their lives.

In short, every study and every measure fit the pattern that men want sex more than women. It's official: Men are hornier than women.

Bringing Kamasutra back into the bedroom

2011-03-30T00:37:00.000-07:00

Leryn Franco

It's really quite amusing that our Kamasutra ignited fantasies, stoked the flames of passion and become a sexual bible in the west. But back in India, sex is still a taboo topic and The Kamasutra, a "part of history" meant to adorn bookshelves.

But that's changing fast. Women have awakened, and to quote Bette Midler, "If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?" Much to the Indian male's chagrin; wives who once lived in blissful ignorance, are now demanding to know why they have not yet experienced the big "O" and the mortified Indian male now has a clear choice.

Foreplay or no play!!! Sorry guys! Indian women are not willing to be just 'reproductive beings' anymore. They are watching TV, reading books and doing pop quizzes in magazines to assess for themselves where they are placed on the sexual barometer. The sexual revolution in India is no longer just a media event. Women of all ages are exploring the art of sensuality and making no bones about their sexuality. They are curious, willing to explore, experiment and are speeding down the sensory highway in pursuit of pleasure.

Their awareness makes them responsive to their sexual needs and they are no longer shy in asking, even insisting, for these desires to be fulfilled. A sexual proactive male partner is key to successful relationships today.

Mae West once said "It's not the men in my life that count. It's the life in my men."

I am 22 years old and had an arranged marriage. I'm in love with my husband but he is very boring in bed. I am afraid to tell him because he will think badly of me, or even worse, feel like I'm comparing him to another man. How can I improve my conjugal relationship?
Cuddle up to him at night and whisper that you want to make him happy in every possible way. Shyly, tell him you've been reading up on different ways to fulfil him in the bedroom and if he is open to it you'd like to try. If he agrees it's a start to many a bedroom adventure and once the channels for such communication are open, it will be easier to make him aware of what it takes to please you!

I've been in a relationship for four years. Initially, everything was good but now I feel my boyfriend just wants sex. He denies it. Last year I met a boy, from my city. He was in a relationship but we started chatting regularly and even used to flirt. He suggested a physical relationship which I refused at first but later got into. He says he loves both, his girlfriend and me. I have similar feelings for him, too. But we both know that our relation has no future. I am really confused and don't know what to do? I really like this guy but I also love my boyfriend.
You doubt your boyfriend's intentions and that leads you to cheat on him? How does that make any sense? Are you just finding excuses for your errant behaviour? Both you and the internet dude seem committed to cheating on your committed partners. If you're not satisfied in your current relationship set him free to find a loyal girlfriend, but I doubt you'll be getting much loyalty from your internet Romeo!

I met my wife via the Internet while I was abroad. We got engaged in September 2007. In January 2009 she told me she wasn't interested in the relationship, but later that year, she herself expressed her desire to get married. Post marriage I discovered that in 2009, she had a relationship with her college friend. She says she has not made any mistake and is still in touch with his. She says she loves me and that she has started everything on a clean sheet. I spoke to the guy, and told him to cut contact with her. However, he keeps in touch with me regularly, I'm not sure why. My wife keeps telling me she loves me and cares for me. I, too, feel she does. At times I think of divorce. but has a six-year-old son who is now attached to me. How do I make sure she loves me?
If you feel the love, it exists. Unfortunately, so does the ex and I think it's insensitive of her to maintain a friendship with a man she had a scene with post your engagement to her. Tell her it's all too recent and deeply disturbing for you. Emphasise you love and care for her, her son and your lives together and she must accord respect befitting your role in her life and that If your feelings are important to her, she should keep a distance from him till you come to terms with all the happenings.

I am in love with a girl. I regularly talk to her and care deeply for her. There are some family problems from my side that are escalating. But now, whenever I want to talk to her, I feel like she's not concerned. She doesn't even remember what I tell her. I think she's not interested in me. What should I do?
Do you really need an answer to your question? Why would you want to talk about and share your escalating problems or life with someone that doesn't care to listen or remember?

'Separation' can resolve marital stress

2011-03-28T00:19:00.000-07:00

Marital discord could turn to harmony and reconciliation if you use the period of 'separation' right

Friends' star Courteney Cox and actor husband David Arquette have separated after 11 years of marriage. Hardly irregular in tinsel town or the real world. A break could halt a marriage on track to splitsville. However, clinical psychologist Salma Prabhu tells us how we can use separation to rethink the relationship and progress towards reconciliation.

When to break
When you find yourself bickering over the same issues cyclically, making no progress, it's time for a break. There is a feeling of not growing together, of "I am stuck, trapped." One may feel that (s)he is miserable and is making the other miserable too. A truce is called for and break provides that.
The upside
Staying separately can stoke a spark that has dulled because of other priorities. A separation dissolves trivial issues such as personality flaws and partners learn to accept the spouse as a sum of his/her negative and positive traits.
The downside
There is also a strong chance that the partners may realise that they are better off without each other. Then the break-up can be more amicable with each partner getting enough time for introspection. If you get a sense of freedom and look for romantic or sexual partners immediately, you have inconsolable problems. If you date, but compare every potential mate to your spouse, you are not ready for a new relationship.

The way ahead
Taking a break should be a mutual decision, even if you don't like it. Arguing or clinging to your spouse will only make the claustrophobia worse. If you don't want to take a break, here's how to deal with it:
- Keep communication open.
- Don't make incessant demands on the spouse to "come back".
- Agree to meet on festivals or on days that are important for the children, like their
annual day.
- Do things together that you never had time for â€” take a dance class, etc. This will
help you enjoy each other's company without bickering.
- Find hobbies to cultivate and friends to meet. Focus on your life without your spouse to ease into a more permanent separation if things don't work out.
- Undergo marital counselling with an impartial professional.
If you are the spouse who wants to separate, here are things you can do to ensure it is fruitful:
- Don't use "I'm moving out" to get your partner to heel.
- Plan a detachment of at least six months. Apply for a course in a different country, take a transfer or move to a different suburb.
- Nurture yourself. Many people study art, commune with nature and indulge in spirituality. They try to "revive" the person they "killed" in the relationship.
- Respect the sanctity of marriage. If you want a break just to explore other relationships while keeping your spouse as "back-up", share your definition of marriage with your spouse.
- Introspect on your expectations and priorities. Do you miss your spouse emotionally or sexually?
- If you want to get back with your spouse, try and accept shortcomings and overlook minor, daily irritations.
- Tell only those who need to know, especially if you have children.
- Don't incubate your problems; introspect on them.

Coming back together
If you decide to reconcile, congratulations! However, do take these things into account before renewing your vows.
- Spend a sizeable time apart, two weeks just don't cut it, even if "you can't live without each other".
- Try trial get-togethers â€” go for a holiday to try and find out if you are ready to get back in matrimony.
- The reconciliation should be unconditional â€” avoid "I'll come back if you promise to do this, this and this." Talk about your expectations from each other, map your priorities and come up with a strategy for your lives.
- Don't compromise for the children. The resentment will come out, or the child will be aware of the unpalatable sadness in the air.
- Continue pursuing all the things you did while on a break â€“ the language studies or dance classes â€“ this will ensure that you don't feel trapped again.

Share sexual woes with partner

2011-03-27T00:19:00.000-07:00

Older men who talk to their partner about sexual problems report greater happiness, says a new study.

Published in the Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences, the study shows that the way men and women deal with sexual health and stress in their later years varies greatly and that there is not one solution that can help ease unhappiness caused by sexual problems.

The research was conducted by Ryo Hirayama, a Ph.D. student in Oregon State University's Department of Human Development and Family Sciences, and professor Alexis Walker, who is the Jo Anne L. Petersen Chair in Gerontology and Family Studies at OSU. The study was conducted with data from the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project.

To reach the conclusion, the Oregon State researchers looked at 861 people ages 57 to 85 who were married or had an intimate partner, and who reported having at least one sexual problem.

The sexual problems reported by older adults included lack of interest in sex, inability to climax, physical pain during sex, maintaining an erection, or lubrication issues. Respondents were asked to indicate on a scale from 1 to 3 how bothered they were by each problem they listed. They also were asked about their well-being, which the researchers measured by using typical scales for happiness and for depressive symptoms.

The study found: fewer than half of older adults with sexual problems discussed these problems with their doctors, although men were more likely to do so than women. In addition, whether older adults discussed these issues with their physicians did not make a difference in their well-being.

"This was our most unexpected outcome," Hirayama said. "Older adults are advised to talk to their doctors about sexual health issues, but not all people do so and talking with a physician is not as helpful as you might expect."

However, confiding in a partner or with friends was found to be effective for many men in reducing stress and unhappiness related to sexual problems. Unfortunately for women, this same benefit was not reported.

"In fact, women with higher levels of sexual stress who confided in their close friends reported lower happiness," Hirayama said. "We aren't quite sure what to make of this finding."

Women did not see any reduction in stress or well-being (unhappiness and depression) when they talked to their spouses either.

"What this tells is that women's sexual issues are complex, and that complexity needs to be recognized," Walker said. "A woman with a great deal of sexual concerns could feel threatened by talking to her spouse about it, or perhaps simply confiding in a friend is not enough."

How can you feel sexier as you get older?

2011-03-26T00:18:00.000-07:00

Ageing is something you can't avoid, so it's better you embrace and use it to your advantage to feel sexy and young, says an expert.

Kristi Michelle

"The 20s are a time that's idealized. I think it is such a time women are struggling to find their identity and figure out who they are and establish themselves in their careers but the 30s tend to be a real time of security for that very reason because we have a much better sense who have we are and that is sexy," CBS News quoted psychotherapist Jenn Berman, as saying.

"You know, one thing that's important to keep in mind if you don't start out feeling confident and sexy, you fake it until you make it. The behaviours - behaving as if you feel sexy and behaving as if you feel confident - leads women to feel confident," she said.

Jarvis agreed, saying more women in Hollywood - from Diane Keaton to Demi Moore - have been embracing their sexy side. She added, "Do you think our sense of age is changing in this country? Do you think we're taking a new approach to aging?"

Berman also said more women in Hollywood embracing ageing have revolutionized the way we think about aging.

"And it's given the rest of us some hope, even though they have the advantages of plastic surgery and make-up artists and all of that, when we see someone our age or older looking great, it can be really inspiring," she said.

She also said that it is important to keep the spark alive with your partner.

Berman advised, "Make a point to make time for one another, turn off the TV, the BlackBerry ... turn off your computer, have face-to-face time with each other. And take care of yourself, make sure you are eating healthy, listening to your body, exercising and dressing in a way that makes you feel good and also have some sex, even if you don't feel like it. Sometimes, having sex can make you feel sexy and, also, sex begets sex, the more you have, the more you want."

She added communication with your partner is one of the keys to feeling sexy.

"The more communication you have, the more connected and the more intimate you feel, the more confident you're likely to feel, which makes you file more sexy," she said.

Feeling sexually repressed?

2011-03-25T00:19:00.000-07:00

According to Sigmund Freud, the father of psychology, sexual repression was the chief psychological problem ailing mankind. He said that constriction and repression of sexual behaviour in youth would manifest in adulthood. We, on the other hand, live in a society that still considers sex as taboo and frown upon ways to relieve one's sexual urges, especially if practiced by the unmarried. Hardly anyone speaks about such important issues that affect several people. Maybe it's because one is afraid of being labelled a deviant, pervert or sexually frustrated.

Definition
Sexual repression can be defined as an inability to express one's sexuality. It is often associated with feelings of shame and guilt being attached with expressing sexual impulses. However, sexual ethics differ from culture to culture and what might seem forbidden in one culture might not be so in another. Psychiatrist and sexologist, Dhananjay Gambhire says, "A person's inability to express his or her sexual impulses in a healthy way leads to sexual absenteeism and is known as sexual repression."

Causes
Generally, cultural and societal norms are the main reasons for sexual repression. Psychotherapist, neuropsychologist and counsellor Veena Chakravarthy says, "Sexual repression can occur due to moral and social standards. Moral systems, parental guidance and education and family structure can play a role in this." Dr Gambhire cites examples of widows/widowers on whom there's a societal pressure of not indulging in sexual relations after the death of their spouse. Sometimes, physical problems like disability, obesity, and cultural stereotypes contribute to this condition. Also, issues like depression, long working hours, absence from home for extended durations, also go on to the creation of a sexually vacant milieu.

Mahendra Watsa, a sexologist, says, "Some people are born in orthodox and pious families where sex-related issues are considered a taboo. Also, in our culture, pre-marital sex is looked down upon. Therefore, one usually has to wait to get married in order to have sex. All these reasons usually lead to sexual repression."

He further elaborates on instances of married couples, where wives usually don't express their sexual desires as they don't want to hurt their husbands or cases where husbands are insensitive to their wives' needs and hurry with sexual intercourse. As a result, wives are compelled to fake their fulfilment and thus, become sexually repressed.

Symptoms
Ignoring one's sexual urges, suppressing one's feelings when one is sexually aroused, avoiding socialising with members of the opposite sex, working out excessively or becoming a workaholic to avoid dealing with the problem, are all symptoms. Putting on a mask of happiness, when he or she isn't, the inability to communicate one sexual likes and dislikes, feelings of guilt, shame and sometimes depression due to inability to accept one as a sexual being are other indications of such a condition.

Effects
The repercussions of sexual repression can take many forms. Some people won't socialise with persons of the opposite sex assuming it will arouse sexual desires. Some neglect personal grooming and wear dull, unattractive clothes hoping to deflect attention from the opposite sex. Others also suffer from depression, anxiety and guilt. Insomnia, difficulty in talking to the opposite sex, inability to concentrate on studies or at work, issues like low self-esteem are all symptoms of repressed sexuality. Difficulty in relationships begin with unhappiness; later the distance between the persons increase leading to infidelity and personal stress, says Dr Gambhire.

Chakravarthy says that sexual repression can affect relationships because these repressed feelings stop the individual from expressing themselves freely. The fear associated with the repression inhibits communication. Therefore, individuals shy away from it and make it difficult for their partners as well. More so because sometimes they cannot put a finger on the exact cause of their fear.

Coping
The best way to deal and prevent sexual repression is to gain sex education. Until there is no awareness, individuals will not realise that they have a problem and won't work towards finding a solution and thus, suffer silently. Seeking professional help is recommended especially for individuals who are depressed, have sleep problems or whose daily life is affected due to sexual repression. Dr Watsa says that as for couples, they must learn to communicate their feelings to their partners rather than gratify themselves elsewhere through unsafe practices like having one night stands with strangers.
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Botox brides!

2011-03-24T00:18:00.000-07:00

In today's times, perhaps beauty is skin deep. No wonder, 30 and 40-plus brides in cosmopolitan cities are thronging beauty clinics to look radiant and younger on D-day. From botox to de-tanning to liposuction, they are doing it all this wedding season.

"India as a country has progressed considerably over the years and one of the fundamental changes that has taken place in society is the age at which women are getting married," cosmetologist and dermatologist Vandana Chatrath.

"We are seeing more women getting married in their early 30s. Marriages of single or divorced women who are in their mid-40s are also on the rise. All women want to look their best on their wedding day irrespective of age, so we have seen a rise in brides-to-be of these age groups coming to us," she added.

The trend is rising around the country. Bangalore-based Chytra V Anand said the number of such cases has been maximum this year. "Now the trend is to get married at a later age, especially when women are focussing on career and personal development. So when they decide to get married, they seek our help to make them look their best on their wedding day. I would say compared to the last three years, this year we saw many older brides and grooms," revealed Anand.

Most women concentrate on skin rejuvenation, but different individuals have different requirements. Some also go for de-tanning, fat loss as well as botox, the most popular way of looking young.

"Usually brides concentrate on their skin and wish for a glow. Most commonly, we are requested for de-tanning and glow medi-facials. But with the onus on looks and being fit, many brides-to-be ask for quick-fix measures for body shaping and instant fat loss. Also, with age start wrinkles and lines for which we use botox and fillers two-three weeks prior to the wedding to help the face look even, smooth and youthful," said Anand.

"Botox now has become very popular with the brides not only for lines but also for sweating of underarms and they don't want underarm sweat stains on their expensive blouses and dresses any more," added Anand.

As far as cost constraints are concerned, women don't shy away from loosening their purse strings for that ultimate glow and perfect skin. "Once the patient starts treatment, we assess their results on a regular basis and counsel them on how to maintain that look. We put them on to the right lifestyle and suggest the right skincare regime for long-term results." In the same vein, Mumbai-based cosmetologist Swati said that treatment cost may vary depending on the specific problem and the solution that is appropriate for it. Cost also depends on what their budget is. We offer tailormade programmes keeping the budgets in mind," said Mumbai-based cosmetologist Swati.

Kanupriya Dutta, a 32-year-old lawyer in the city, feels if you have the money then why not make your special day perfect. "Since I'm 32, I can't look like a 24-year-old bride. But if by getting a few treatments, I can look younger and my skin can look fresh, then why not? I'm willing to spend money on this so that I get the desired results," she confessed.

Nidhi Arora, a 30-year-old from Goregaon who tied the knot this month, feels awareness about medical treatments give women many options to choose from.

"Today you have the option of correcting your problem area. Even if it is under eye skin or frown lines - you can set everything right. I myself took botox treatment for bags under my eyes, which used to look rather ugly." she said.

Sexual acts, top activity behind the wheels

2011-03-23T00:18:00.000-07:00

Texting, eating and indulging in sexual acts are among the top activities that people do while driving.

According to a scientific survey commissioned by hands-free headset maker Jabra, 28 per cent of respondents in six countries including the United States say that they've texted behind the wheel.

Seventy percent of respondents said that they eat or drink regularly, and 35 per cent admit to getting dressed or undressed.

In fact 29 per cent have kissed while driving and more than half that, fully 15 per cent, have engaged in sexual intercourse or another sexual act.

Freshening up by styling hair or applying makeup is done by 23 per cent and 13 per cent of those surveyed, reports Fox News .

Less people read actual newspapers and magazines than e-mails, but the numbers are still high, 10 per cent and 12 per cent, respectively.

But, only 5 per cent of drivers sneak in a video game while driving.

And 63 per cent of respondents have yelled at other drivers while commuting.

Friendly people are more attractive

2011-03-22T00:17:00.000-07:00

Friendly or outgoing people are more attractive, a new study suggests.

In the study, Gettysburg College psychology professor Brian Meier and his research team found that people who were high in the personality traits of agreeableness or extraversion were rated by strangers as being more attractive.

Meier's team assessed the personality of 217 men and women.

The photos of these men and women were shown to unacquainted strangers who rated their physical attractiveness.

They found that the men and women who had higher levels of agreeableness or extraversion were also rated as more physically attractive even though raters did not know or interact with the individuals.

Meier said: "The results suggest that there is some truth to the 'beautiful is good' stereotype or the 'halo effect'. People have a tendency to think that attractive people also possess 'attractive' qualities - such as being friendly, outgoing, and smart."

He added: "Interestingly, it appears that grooming is a key mechanism. Friendly or outgoing people were also better groomed in the photographs, which made them appear more attractive to others.

Because the photographs were taken unexpectedly, friendly or outgoing individuals seem to be better groomed on a daily basis, which likely helps them receive the social interaction they desire."

He concluded: "Grooming is a strong predictor of attractiveness that can be easily controlled by the individual unlike more physical characteristics such as weight or skin blemishes. Thus, sociable people seem to already know that a neat appearance goes a long way in drawing others' attention."

The paper titled 'Are sociable people more beautiful?,' has been published in the Journal of Research in Personality.

Why bad girls are sexier?

2011-03-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

You need to shed the good girl tag to win love...

Sugar and spice isn't always nice. In the dating game, just being nice to your man doesn't make him more devoted; at times you need to be the 'bitch' to walk down the Valentine path.

That, in a nutshell, is best-selling author and columnist Sherry Argov's premise of her seminal books Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches . "Men secretly respect a woman who is strong, has confidence and dreams of her own," says Sherry. "They don't want women who are needy and desperate for approval."

So the key to conduct new-age relationships is: discover the feisty attitude that will turn you into a diva from a doormat," says Sherry.

Why nice girls finish last
Ever wondered why despite putting your best face and foot forward, and treating your dreamboat like a dream, he seems to go for someone smarter, sassier and sexier - aka 'The bitch?' It's possibly because:

- You're making it too obvious that you're looking for a man and your happiness is dependent on that.
- You are unable to be alone.
- You don't want to wait for the right person. You to rush into a situation you wouldn't have otherwise.

Do men like strong women?
The general consensus is that men get intimidated by strong, opinionated women who pose a challenge. But the truth is that any extreme is a turn off. On the contrary, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who has dignity and pride in who she is. So to woo the love of your life, be someone he desires. And he can't desire something that is too easily available. It simply means you must be in control and keep him guessing. Besides, never forget the golden rule of relationships: You don't marry a perfect person. You marry an interesting person.

The 'bitches' don't...
- Call or text him frequently.
- Ask where he is or what he's doing.
- Say 'You don't call me enough,' or, 'You never tell me you love me.' Unpredictability is your asset. Don't let your loved one decode you easily.
- Agree with everything he says. When you never express your opinion, a man starts feeling bored.
- Go looking for him or chase him down at three different places where he said he might be having a drink. To be his 'steady', let him come track you down.
- Get mad when he doesn't call you in four days.
- Rearrange your schedule to spend time with him

The bitches do...
Walk the tightrope between being intimidating and independent by being feminine, yet quietly strong. When you don't make obvious what your strengths and weakness are, your partner won't be able to read you. And when a man can't read a woman fully, he respects her more. A woman with self-control has power and men are turned on by that.

Eliminate the third angle
Worried about finishing second best in the love race? Well, first ensure you are the one he's amorous about. If he meets you and is crazy for you, other women should be a non-issue. If you're number two for any length of time, it means there are "too many queens in the castle."

Then, just walk out. Calmly tell him the relationship is "no longer interesting" and wish him luck.

Be happy and positive
Value yourself and your peace of mind. Don't chase happiness outside yourself. Most importantly, try not to give energy to what others think of you; it takes away your power. If you feel good inside, others no longer can control you emotionally. This kind of calm and self-sufficiency is very attractive. Men are used to women who wear their heart on their sleeve and go crazy for the one they can't control.

Pursue your own dreams
Focus on interests outside the relationship. He can know you care, but doesn't need to know how much. Men don't want to compete with other men for your attention, they want to compete for your time because you aren't waiting for him 24x7.

The Best Place to Pick Up Girls

2011-03-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

Each one of you is special. We are all different and none of us will be attractive to women in the same way. Some are great dancers, others have traveled a lot and others may be great cooks. Which is YOUR skill?

This really matters because that skill you have will make a certain place, a bar or a mall, for instance, better for your game. So, as I explained with the best movies before, the best place to go and pick up is subjective. There will be a place that you and just you will be the most attracting man and some others where you would be the less interesting. The idea here is to get to know which is the place you should go to and to focus picking up there.

For example, if you a great dancer, would you go and pick up girls in the park? You certainly could, but your success rate would never approach that of you in a club or dance floor. Which aspect of your personality makes you the most attractive? For my case, I believe that I can charm the girls I want when I speak about culture and life stories. Not only I’m a guy they could spend a great time with but I’m also the best guy they could go and speak about culture with.

Then, where do I go? Cultural events, naturally. I meet girls the same tastes as I do and it becomes easy to get connected. They get impressed by all what I have to say and most of the times they want to go out with me and get to know me more. In that atmosphere is where I can maximize my value. You have to think where you can maximize yours. It’s not too hard; you just have to think about it a little.

You don’t need to be hours in the clubs every week to meet a woman. That’s a terrible mistake! There are women everywhere and all the time. You just need to do the approaches in the place you feel the most comfortable at. The place where you maximize your value will be the place where, at the same time, you’ll pick up the most girls.

Sacred spice, clove

2011-03-20T00:17:00.000-07:00

From being the key spice in Worcester sauce to removing black magic spells, clove has a range of uses.

This unopened flower bud of a tropical tree, native of Indonesia, is also offered to local deities. When fresh, the clove is pink and turns rust-brown when dried. It is called 'lavang' in Hindi. The curative properties of clove and its oil are legendary. Clove oil, applied to a cavity in a decayed tooth, relieves toothache. The oil is used to treat skin disorders such as acne, pimples, and severe burns.

Clove-infused water is used to treat stomach upsets, nausea and diarrhoea. Folklore says that sucking two whole cloves without chewing or swallowing them helps to curb the desire for alcohol.

Cloves were traded by Arabs in the Middle Ages as part of their buying and selling on the profitable Indian Ocean trade route. That's how it happened to reach Europe and beyond. Cloves, along with nutmeg and pepper, were highly prized in Roman times, and Pliny the Elder once famously complained that "there is no year in which India does not drain the Roman Empire of fifty million sesterces."

At Christmas time, cloves are pressed into an apple or the peel of an orange and used as a warm-smelling adornment in the kitchen or elsewhere in the house. Clove oil warmed in oil burners gives an aromatic holiday scent to a room.

Clove, as a herb or an essential oil, is also used to treat magic spells and matters related to Jupiter â€” growth, legal matters, meditation, money, prosperity, settling legal matters, and spirituality.

How to Have a Better Relationship

2011-03-19T22:49:00.000-07:00

It’s the duty of every man to make his girl feel the very best in the world, the one and only. Doing this helps to build confidence in the couple and bring happiness to both man and woman. Still, not many men understand how they can do this, even if it’s something simple and basic for many of us. Here are a few strategies you could use to make your woman feel better.

Show love in public

Showing love in public is a win-win situation. Kiss, hug and touch your girl openly, in front of friends and wherever you go. Make her sit on your lap, hold hands with her… Those are plain, easy and very enjoyable ways of showing love.

Perhaps you or she might be a bit shy about it at the beginning, but don’t let that stop you. It’s definitely something you have to do with any woman you love. This open showing of affections will make her feel safer in her feelings to raise her self esteem. Make her feel the one and only, not only by telling her but also by showing this love you have for her all the time and in every place.

Cuddle more

Cuddling is something that helps bringing couples closer together. In summer at the beach, in autumn under a shedding tree, in spring under the rain or in winter warm in bed, cuddling is just great. Just nothing can beat a close, naked cuddle anywhere and anytime.

Also, women need to be held and listened to, and cuddling is a perfect way of doing both. It’s an opportunity to spend quality time together, romantic moments and to share all the love you have for each other. For example, to feel each other’s hearts beating, while outside reins a big storm, is the kind of moment that will give a special charm and feeling to the couple.

Make love, not sex

As I explained extensively in this old article, sex, plain as it is and without its underlying magic, despite it can give big satisfactions, cannot create a deep bond inside the couple. Men must break the crude monotony of plain physical sex and mix it with romantic, horny talks as well a flood of emotions and fantasies.

Only then having sex will become making love. The power of love in bed will make the relationship go forward still when passion fades away. It’s definitely something all men should strive to do, as it also will make your relationship with her stand out from all the other ones she had before.

What if your wife was cheating you?

2011-03-19T00:17:00.000-07:00

We are constantly hearing about male celebrities who have given into unwise indulgences. What if a woman was to go out and have an affair? Would the transgression be ignored by the husband or would she have to pay big time?

Rahul and Ruhi have been married for 8 years. A happy, compatible couple, Ruhi is the introvert in the relationship. She interests are few and far between, but she definitely loves reading. Luckily for her, she works for a publishing house in Delhi. Rahul, on the other had is full of beans, laughing and joking and the life of a party. Not surprisingly, he is a trainer at a well-known call centre.

Being neighbours, I have known them for years. At festival time we surely meet up and sometimes, I bump into Rahul at the gym we both visit. But off late, I haven't seen either Rahul or Ruhi. I wait a few days thinking maybe they have gone out of town. But when three months passed, a bit worried, I looked up Rahul's number in my diary.

What he said left even me a tad surprised. Ruhi had been meeting another man on the sly for what it seems almost a year now. And only recently did Rahul get whiff of it. I meet him for coffee and discuss the issue extensively.

Cheating. The word itself is associated with negativity and naturally brings negative connotations into a relationship. What people who cheat fail to understand is that marriage is a 'contract of exclusivity'. It is an institution where the two â€“ husband and wife decide to live together with a mission of fulfilling each other's needs. So when the contract of exclusivity is breached, or overlooked it brings the marriage to a stage of vulnerability which may even lead to dissolution. Although all marriages, where either or both partners indulge in cheating, do not break.

Different dynamics
I asked Rahul would he have felt any different had he been caught cheating on Ruhi? Relationships have different dynamics when cheating is done by the wife and different when it is done by the husband. Comparatively more marriages with the cheating husbands survive than marriages with cheating wives. The reason behind this fact is that wives are more accepting as compared to the husbands. Wives are likely to keep her husband's philandering ways a secret so as to avoid ruining the relationship completely. She will try to assess whether the husband is guilty and make him promise that he will not repeat such transgressions. However, it is the opposite when a wife is caught cheating. The husband, it is observed, will loudly declare it to the girl's family and will involve his family too.

Varying reactions
When wife is caught cheating, the husband shows an explosive reaction of anger. It contains abuse either verbal or physical or both. In some cases the husband also tries to threaten or bring harm to the other man who is involved with his wife. Sometimes this reaction also follows a denial to stay with the wife and bringing an end to the marriage. Incase there are children, the husband tries to share his ill-feelings with them as well. All this is surprisingly missing when the husband is caught cheating.

Torturous feelings
When the husband gets to know that his wife has been cheating on him, he undergoes feelings of inferiority and feels competitive of the other man. He undergoes a feeling of self-rejection, which damages his self-esteem. So simply saying he asks himself, "What was I lacking?" This is very different when the husband is cheating. The wife of such a husband gets the feeling of having lost her husband, similar to a sense of loss of possession. So the question that such wives think is, "Why did he go away from me?" Rahul is mortified by what Ruhi has done. He feels inadequate, completely useless as a man and most as a husband.

Healing too differs
How will Rahul feel better? How will his marriage, if at all, survive? Husbands feel haunted by the repetitive thoughts of their wives cheating them. The husband visualises the complete picture of all that his wife may have done with the other man. He gets so obsessed with this imaginative movie that it affects his sleep, food intake and work. He gets into a comparative analysis with all that he has done in the marriage and his imagination about the whole act of cheating runs riot. Comparatively it takes much more effort to psychologically heal the husband of the cheating wife than the wife of the cheating husband. The difficulty in healing the marriage is marked by the husband's obsessive thought pattern around the act of cheating. It requires him to work on letting go of the obsession. Whereas incase of the cheating husbands, the wife needs to be given reassurance that there will be loyalty in future, if at all there is one together.

Reoccurence of transgression
Incase the marriage survives and the cheating wife promises to abide by the contract of exclusivity, it has been observed that most of the wives maintain their promise. But this is different when the husband is cheating â€“ such husbands are likely to again indulge in illicit relationships outside the marriage, as compared to the wives who have cheated.

Acceptance by both
When the cheating wife is given acceptance on the grounds of maintaining commitment for the future, mostly it has been observed that the husbands will make a mention of her past indulgence in an extra marital relationship. Even when she maintains her integrity in the future, the husbands do not leave an opportunity to make her feel guilty as compared to the case when the wife has accepted a cheating husband.

Marital life is indeed different for a man and a woman when there is an instance of cheating. Different people have different opinions around this topic because of the difference in value systems that develop. But still a third person can come between a couple only when there is space between them. A marriage only rests on one fact i.e. complete sharing â€“ of needs, expectations and experiences. When there is sharing by both, almost all of the needs, be it emotional or physical, can be taken care. And as a result there will be no gap and complete bonding will exist. This is what I have advised Rahul and Ruhi and I hope they can carry on the path of matrimony.

Should you forgive your cheating spouse?

Are men more likely to cheat than women?

The More Equal We Are, The Easier is to Pick Up

2011-03-18T22:49:00.000-07:00

When I first moved to Vienna I was overwhelmed by the enormous amount of hot women out there and how easy it was to sleep with them. One night stands became part of my everyday life and I got really excited and crazy about it. In Argentina these things don’t happen, I was just shocked! Loved it and my friends home couldn’t believe all the stories I had to tell. How this could happen to me? What is so different from Argentineans and Austrians? Those were the questions I asked myself every day.

One good day I met this guy who made it everything clear. He, from Kosovo, told me “You will notice that the more advanced the country is, the easier the girls are to get.” In Kosovo, still in Europe but very backwards, he said, women were very hard to sleep with. In Vienna and beyond, on the contrary, it was much easier. He was right, for I could see and experience that myself. But why?

It all lies on the mentality of these women. Women from richer countries have a different mindset, they are more liberal. The reason for that lies deep into their psychology: in those countries, the social role of women is exactly the same as men’s. We are, in their eyes, both equal. Equal not just in rights, as that’s practically something universal right now, but in the way we are looked by society.

In Argentina or Kosovo, or we could also say in Southern Italy or Spain, a guy who is with many girls is a pimp, a winner. Do you think it’s the same with our women? Not at all! Those women who kiss many men or meet someone special in a club are immediately labeled by the society as whores. And if they happen to sleep with someone they don’t really know, the condemnation will be much bigger and scandalous.

This is not like that in Vienna or in those other places where the concept of equality is deep inside women’s minds. There women believe that there’s no difference between them and men. They won’t find it wrong to sleep with many men, it’s not socially condemned and thus casual sex and one night stands just happen. Women there don’t feel conditioned by anyone and don’t have any prejudice against sleeping a random guy they happen to like. They will find it normal as we men find it. Women also love sex, much more than men, so they will just go forward with it.

It’s the same when it comes to approaches. I slept with a lot of girls in Northern Europe because I was one of the only guys in the clubs or bars actually approaching them. Men just don’t do it there, or just very little. Why? Because women have taken the lead it’s them who actually approach men. Sometimes guys just spend hours in the mirror to look their best and wait in the club to be approached by women. Pathetic in my eyes, but with women as those it works. Women don’t have a prejudice to approach a random man they like, as they do have in my country and perhaps yours.

Bear this in mind when you travel or meet someone from a different country. It may well happen that you will be impressed by how different foreign women could be. Make sure to make the most of it!

'Girl time' is good for health!

2011-03-18T00:17:00.000-07:00

According to the head of psychiatry at Stanford University, female company has more health benefits than previously acknowledged, both for men and women.

Women, apparently, connect differently and provide support systems that help deal with stress and difficult life experiences. The doctor states that spending time with a female friend is as important for our overall health as jogging or working out at the gym is.

The research proves that quality 'girlfriend time' helps the body secrete serotonin--a neurotransmitter that helps fight depression and creates a feeling of happiness. Wondering why male-to-male bonding cannot have the same effect? Well, the reason for this is women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about life or engage in a heart-to-heart conversation.

Women, on the other hand, do it all the time. They share from their soul, and evidently it is doing them a lot of good health wise. Psychologist Shalini Jayswal agrees, "Verbalizing our worries or fears has a measurable impact on various parts of the brain. Having a girlfriend(s) to share offers an empathetic and nonjudgmental environment where they feel safe in revealing their feelings".

So is sharing feelings with a female friend mentally and emotionally uplifting? Says model Amanpreet Wahi, "Hanging out with other female models during shows is therapeutic. We can all loosen up. Talking with them makes me feel like a weight is off my chest." Rimsha, HR training professional, echoes Amanpreet's sentiments. She feels she can emotionally connect with her female friends. "When women talk, they empathise. They go into depth and that really helps."

A lot of men believe that women make them more expressive in turn. Virat Kohli, sales rep says, "Women choose to talk of what is close to their heart instead of just indulging in jokes and back-slapping. This can be a tremendous support during tough times. Not all problems have solutions, sometimes I need a friend just to talk to and I'm glad my female pal is there for me."

Niranjan Sahu, and Anil basu, both IT professionals are equally vocal about the comfort level they share with their women friends. "I find it undeniably reassuring to talk to my female friends during crisis situations," Niranjan explains.

So, girls go ahead pour your heart out to your girlfriends, and guys do share your cup of grief with your best female pal.

How to Become a Great Kisser

2011-03-17T22:47:00.000-07:00

Every first kiss is unique, powerful and very inspiring. In most cases it becomes the first intimate impression women have from you, so you got to make it the very best. A good kiss usually means a faster way to bed, while a bad kiss can definitely ruin your chances with ease. In the following guide I will explain which are some of the points that make a kiss special, and what must all men do in order to be remembered as great kissers.

Look and be kissable

Dress up nicely, have a nice breath and your lips in shape. Those are three things anyone who wants to be kissed should know from the very beginning. It’s simple, but many men just don’t realize how important they are. Don’t eat garlic or onion before going out, and always have a couple of mints with you to tackle bad breath. Balm your lips if they are broken or destroyed, and always be presentable, well dressed. Put yourself in a woman’s feet and think, Am I kissable? The answer must be an outright yes!

Use your hands

It’s true that when you kiss, the main protagonists are your lips. Nevertheless, your hands play a very significant, if not vital, part in the whole story. You got to make the most from them, so use them and do it wisely.

When kissing, especially in the most passionate moments, I strongly advice taking one hand up to her head. Gently touch her face and let it rest in her hair. Then, while you kiss, slowly move it around – Grab and release the hair, always matching the rhythm and temper of the kiss. Make it romantic. As for the other hand, think of it as a joker: use it everywhere. Place it behind her back, make it hold her free hand too or also take it all the way up to the head.

Kiss her everywhere

A great and romantic kiss is not only focused on the mouth and lips. On the contrary, a good kisser knows how important is to tackle other parts of her head and body. The number one spot that all women love is their neck. Gently kiss her neck, going up slowly until you kiss her ears. Kiss her forehead, where her hair starts and even her nose.

Kiss everywhere but in the lips, build up to the great moment. Instinctively, women will get anxious waiting for you to kiss them in the lips. Make the most of that anxiety, build it up. Then, when the moment comes the kiss will be much more magical.

Kissing rhythm

Change your rhythm on the way, don’t be monotonous. Some moments will demand you to be aggressive, while in others you should be mild and calm. Calibrate to those moments your lips, hands and your tongue. Do small kisses and also long ones. Take the lead and let her take it too.

After kissing her for a long time, stop and look at her in the eyes. Smile, say something nice and hold her tight. Don’t be a machine, make her feel special. That’s why smiling, looking at her and speaking is also very important. Do it, inspire her.

Things to Take When You Go Out

2011-03-16T22:48:00.000-07:00

You got to maximize your chances for anything you do in your life. Do this by practicing and being well prepared. Leave nothing left to luck. This includes when you go out to a bar or club too. Take with you all those things that will make your odds be as high as they can get.

Every time I go out I take a handful of things that one time or the other help me in my goals, whichever they are. Here’s what they are for me and why I recommend you to take them too.

Camera

An easy pick, taking your camera out is a must. Firstly because it will let you open up groups of girls with ease, capture great and funny moments and it’s one perfect excuse for you go ask girls’ contacts and for them to ask yours.

Secondly, you should load your camera with very best photos of trips and great moments. That way you can show and tell guys and girls excellent anecdotes of yours. Don’t go telling every random girl you meet “Hey, look, I was in Russia” but if you have the possibility of casually doing it at some point in time, it will raise your value.

A ring and a neck-chain

I never go out without these two. They are the perfect excuse for almost everything! I have a couple of cocky and funny stories around them that I have invented. They are funny and well thought anecdotes that guys and girls love to hear. I always look for right moment to tell people about them.

Think your own stories and make them work towards your goals. I got one story of mine, showing a very emotional and sensible side for when the girl thinks I’m too tough. And vice versa, I got the tough guy’s story when the girl thinks I’m too sensitive. The ring has saved me many times and it can help you too!

Other Indispensables

Always have mints or some kind of candy with you; you never know when you will really need them. By no chance in life you want to destroy all what you have done because of a simple bad breath. Also, always go out with enough money and condoms too. You might need to use them at one point or the other, even if it’s completely unexpected.

Value

As a general rule, take those things that will help raising your value. If you can do some great magic tricks, take them with you. If your stuff is drawing, take a small notepad and pencil with you too. Don’t overdo it and take that many things, but still take those that will help you in your goal. As I explained, it’s all about maximizing your chances.

Never say sorry about love

2011-03-16T00:16:00.000-07:00

Between covers, isn't that where love is supposed to lie? Shouldn't all love â€” or the making thereof â€” get your knickers in a twist? So why the fuss, the surprise, the tamasha and the brouhaha over forbidden love and those who forbid it? Love actually must be more chhupa chhupi than khullam khulla, and what's the fun of pyaar without the protest?

Jade Stone

For decades, true love had to contend only with crass commerce every Valentine's Day. The makers of cards, candles and heart-shaped everything in yucky shades of pink. The sellers of wine and roses. The merchants of diamonds which were supposed to be forever but which strangely had to be supplemented every year, or oftener.

We had prided ourselves on being the originators of the book of love. Now we have to ask ourselves the question: What came first, the Kama Sutra or the VHP? Or the Shiv Sena, MNS, Ram Sene and every other self-appointed, self-righteous custodian of our morals, our culture, our entertainment and our wardrobes.

So forget the old adage about forbidden fruit tasting sweetest. You won't get much chance to find out. For, barely after you have savoured the first nibble, you might find yourself in the police station and/or the casualty ward. In fact, love has lost its premier position in the 'forbidden' league. It finds itself with all manner of bedfellows as our professional protestors keep extending their eclectic range of targets. The canoodler is now in the company of the filmmaker or the beer drinker. Anything is grist to the milling goons.

The point to be made is that when you let the hate brigade decide on matters of love, it doesn't stop at couples. It becomes open season on anything that 'offends' anyone. Everything is pushed into the 'forbidden' pit. Push is already becoming shove. The magic of the movies has turned into a witches' cauldron. Cuddling lovers have to be burnt at the stake. Gays are evil incarnate. Who knows, next they may even convert the missionary position into an act of the Devil.

And yet, here's the irony. 'Everything is forbidden' exists in an urban environment which also subscribes to the culture of 'anything goes'. 'Just do it' is as much a part of our social lexicon as 'Don't you dare'. Globalised India is cocooned in a surround-sound of liberalism. The Net, iPods, cellphones, hoardings, television, print, all media exhorts you to smile and bare it. It seductively persuades you to let go, come what may.

The young are experimenting like never before and at an age when even their older siblings were babes in the woods instead of being a tangle in the thickets. Family equations have changed with parents desperately wanting to be cool instead of getting hot under the collar over their children's hormonal adventurism. In this no-holds barred scenario, nothing is non-kosher. Fore-bidden has replaced forbidden. And it isn't happening only in some sliver-thin upper class pickled in Western decadence. Go to any public park. You won't have to look hard. It's so brazenly in-your- face that all but the unabashed voyeur would squirm.

However, events of the past few years have forced us to believe that it's not only Cupid who sharpens his arrows in preparation for February 14. He has serious competition from an entire army of smashers, bashers and other crashers of parties. So each year, after the lust and the bloodlust, when the hurly-burly's done, when the battle's fought and won, we are left wondering, 'Whose V-Day was it this time?' That of the lovers or that of those who hate love?

Tips on Dating Women

2011-03-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

Following is a quick list of very important things all men should know about women and dating. The kind of things that will help you attracting and seducing the girl you want. It’s short, concise and very accurate. Unlike the 25 Traits Lists, which you can find here and here, this list is more focused on them rather than you.

1- A good perfume is worth every cent. If you’re going to attract someone, you need to appeal to all the senses. And women love good cologne. Never go out without it!
2- If you don’t satisfy your woman in bed, you are up to serious trouble. Even if she really loves you.
3- Never believe everything a woman says. It’s a step into maturity to assume that if she has to lie to you, she will.
4- Women love chocolate.
5- Never believe your woman is the exception to anything. I can bet you everything in the world that she is not.
6- A woman who truly likes you is never too busy for you. But time is precious. If you want to take a bit out of hers, you better have something exciting to do.
7- Cuddling is important – It is something that helps bringing couples closer together.
8- The two biggest and universal physical turn offs for women are a very short man and a very small dick. All other cases can be fine, but looking the best you can will certainly help.
9- Never try to understand women. Don’t analyze and think too much about what they do, it’s not worth it.
10- Girls want to be taken. No one likes to be alone.
11- Always make your intentions clear from the very beginning – Be dangerous from the word “Hey.” That way, you won’t fall into the dramatic ‘Friends Zone’ right away. But at the same time, be playful and know that even if you like her, you are not dead for her and by no means someone who can be controlled.
12- Assume and have very clear that you’ll be rejected many more times than not. But, in the end, that’s not something that bad.
13- When you want a girl, to have her friend’s blessing must be your top objective. If they like you, they will be of enormous help and make everything easier for you. Also, especially for younger girls, to make her parents like you is even more important.
14- Being a good kisser will make your way to bed easier. So will if you are a good dancer.
15- Buying women drinks is not worth it. Don’t do it.
16- In class, at work, in the gym or in any social place you go to, say “Hi” all the time and to every girl. It will be of great help.
17- Never ask a woman “Would you like…” too often, but give her options. For example, tell her you want to go with her to a certain place at a certain time – But let her choose whether she prefers Saturday or Sunday.
18- Shoes are very important; always give some extra attention to them.
19- Women are attracted to leaders, ambitious, inspiring and confident people more than to anyone else.
20- Don’t leave women messages in the phone – Call until she answers. And, once she does, talk only to set up the date. Save the conversation for the date.
21- Never ask permission to do anything or say anything.
22- Women love the unexpected. Surprise them often and never be totally predictable.
23- Laughing is an aphrodisiac. Learn to be funny, to tell anecdotes and to entertain.
24- People love to speak about themselves more than anything else – It’s their favorite topic. So do women.
25- Never try to outsmart women. You’ll lose.
26- If you are going to touch a woman, do it from the very beginning and with 100% belief. If you don’t, it will be creepy.
27- Girls from richer and more developed countries are easier to get than girls from poorer, less developed ones.
28- Lead, even if you don’t know where you are going. Make an adventure out of everything and put emotion and charm into it.
29- Make things fun your YOU. That way you’ll make things fun for her too.
30- Tease. Do it playfully and laugh at her. Make those things that will make her playfully punch you. Don’t go as far as offending her or talking about her deep insecurities. And, unless you really screwed up, don’t say sorry.
31- As far as you are concerned, you are the coolest guy ever. Believe in yourself – There’s gold running out of your mouth. Offer value, have abundance mentality and be confident in yourself.
32- Women love to give you advice on anything.
33- Desperation repeals women.

This list will be constantly updated with new tips from you, the readers, and also from myself. So stay tuned! And, of course, you are invited to leave in the comments section your thoughts and ideas about the subject and whether the ideas here have helped you or not!

Girls, for a flaming hot libido

2011-03-15T00:16:00.000-07:00

If you are exhausted from doing up your home and entertaining guests and have no time or energy left for sex “ you sure need help!

Joanna Krupa

Here are five natural, easily available ways to enhance the female libido.

Aphrodisiacs: These are certain foods known for heightening one's sexual impulses, arousal, and response.

Chocolate . Have a low- cal choc every alternate day and you are good to go girl!

Chili peppers . Trigger the pleasure-releasing endorphins.

Oysters. They increase testosterone levels which benefits both male and female.

Ginkgo. This herb helps the body achieve optimal blood circulation, which is important for sexual stimulation.

Wild yam . This one is a sexual stimulant.

However, there are other areas of your life where you need to focus as well.

Sleep well: If you are not sleeping well and aren't getting the mandatory 8 hours, chances are you are cranky and downright uncomfortable. Who can think of sex, and on top of it, great sex, in such a condition? So come what may get the required dose of sleep.

Get fit, babe: Inactivity leads to a dip in sexual energy levels. Go get outside, let the fresh air do its trick on you and have you bursting with energy. Or try yoga and swimming and look and feel fit. And sex, well, you won't be able to stop.

Stress : any kind, whether it's between people, at work or even while driving inhibits your sexual skills. Reach home, relax with some wine, music and have friends over. Share the problems you are having with those close to you. Watch stress disappear, giving way to a happy and content, and surely more-interested-in-sex you.

The best position for sex?

Psychology Behind Sexual Attraction

2011-03-14T22:46:00.000-07:00

There’s one important thing all men who want to attract and seduce a woman should know: women will be inevitably attracted to those men who, they believe, can give them the strongest children. It has been like this since the dawn of history and it still is now. All women will be seduced by those men who they feel will be protectors of their children and themselves. It’s printed in their genes, it’s just natural.

It has always been like that and it won’t change anytime soon. What did change though is which man actually represents that. A couple of thousands years back it was that man who, as a consequence of his power and strength had dominated the rest. In the present, the desired man is the one who is charismatic, influences others and has more power. In both cases, we are speaking about the traditional and present leaders of the tribe. In both cases, the leader of the tribe is the man with the highest amount of value.

If you want to be successful with women, you got to have that very clear. You must try to build those qualities that make up the modern leader. The more leader and charismatic you are, the more women you will attract. It’s something natural.

Which qualities, then, should you develop? I’ll give you a few examples, but the list could be endless.

Firstly, keep a healthy appearance. Going back to the first theory, a sick man would not provide her with healthy and strong children. So, even if you have a nice face, she might not be attracted. It’s no coincidence that girls are in love with men with muscles and a well-fit body either. Just think about it – it all makes sense. I don’t think that to seduce women you got to go to the gym every day or stay hours in front of the mirror either. But you should take at least a few minutes to work on your looks. I strongly recommend you all to read the article about that here.

Secondly, learn to speak. Speaking is the fists of the modern times. While our ancestors fought with sticks and swords for every other discussion, we can end most conflicts and establish our leadership through speech. Learn to speak and to influence the others around you and you will become the leader you want to. For that you got to practice, but give some serious commitment. If you want to be a great leader you got to be really good at this.

Finally, be able to withstand social pressure. There are few leaders because few people have the guts and readiness to confront the eyes and criticism of the whole society. After all, many men are afraid of what the rest will think of them. Go to hell with that and be confident in yourself, gain respect and share your ideas, views, dreams or do things other would not. Breaking through social pressure will make you a higher value man, more desirable and much more respected. It will show toughness and strength.

Still, think about all the qualities that make up a leader. Work to become one! We’ll be covering more of these in the near future so keep in touch!

50 plus people most promiscuous

2011-03-14T00:16:00.000-07:00

People over the age of 50 are among the most promiscuous lot, says a new survey.

The surprising statistics revealed a quarter of this age group cheat on their partner, while one in six said they never used contraception with a new lover.

Amit Freidman

The poll, from the Co-operative Pharmacy, also found a third admitted they had "slept around" and admitted to unprotected one-night stands with strangers.

The main reason people gave for not using contraception was that they "get carried away in the moment", reports the Daily Mail .

This is despite the fact that the number of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in the over-50s is soaring across Britain.

Natika Halil, director of information at the Family Planning Association (FPA), said: "The message is the same for teenagers as well as people in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s - don't take a risk with your sexual health over the festive period. There is only one protection against most STIs - wearing a condom."

The poll also found young people are less promiscuous than their elders were at the same age.

One in five teenagers said they had waited until the legal age of consent at 16 before having sex for the first time. This compared to one in 20 of those aged 20 or older.

The Perfect Places For The First Date

2011-03-13T22:46:00.000-07:00

When you meet a woman you can take her along two different paths: either you do as all men do or, if not, you risk and try something different. Both paths have their good and bad sides, but every time I have to pick up one, I always go for the difference. Let me explain you why.

The girl you want has probably been approached by already dozens and maybe hundreds of guys. Most of these guys wanted to go out with her and also, probably, make her their new girlfriend. If you want to stand out from all those other men, you got to do something unpredictable, something new. You got to make her live a new experience.

Because of this I strongly discourage taking her to dinner, to the park or for drinks in the first dates. Do something different, something crazy! And the possibilities are endless! Most men feel afraid of approaching something original. Many common arguments include “But we just met”, “That’s too crazy”, “She won’t agree”, etc. Thing is, that’s all bullshit. If she does like you even a bit already, she’ll most surely be excited if what you got it’s a crazy, safe and fun idea. They just love men who do crazy things, right? And they also love to be a part of it, so work for that!

Let me give you a few examples of what I did. You could copy this and do it yourself – But better take it as an inspiration and find which is the best plan for you.

Sheraton Sneak

One day I met this wonderful girl. She was quite cool, a couple years older than me and very beautiful. Lots of men wanted to take her for themselves, so I had to act bold! I called her one day and told her if she wanted to go to the Sheraton’s swimming pool, sauna and all those cool places the hotel has with me. The one problem, I said, was that we would have to sneak our way in. I was positive about it; it would be a funny experience.

She first thought I was joking, but finally agreed to come. Then we did actually sneak in and spent a terrible day in the hotel – It was amazing! She was astonished, excited that couldn’t stop telling people about our adventure and how of a great time we had spent. Still now she keeps telling me how much fun and how it exciting it was that day – She’ll never forget it!

Football Match

Football (which in some places is called by the name ‘soccer’) is a huge thing in Argentina. A football match is a rollercoaster of colors, songs, craziness and pure emotion. Such an amazing atmosphere it’s nowhere else to be seen and, thus, it’s no coincidence that The Guardian, one of the top British newspapers has chosen the Argentinean league’s flagship match as the #1 sporting thing you must seen before you die.

This incomparable atmosphere makes it tempting to take women there too. It’s a unique opportunity for them to see something new, special and that they have never seen. Even if they don’t like football, all of them will be overwhelmed by the feeling in the stadium. They will never forget and, thus, won’t forget you either. After a match they are always excited, happy and much more willing to open up and share emotions and ideas than during a normal date.

As you can see, these were two exciting, unconventional and totally different dates. Perhaps the most exciting ones these girls ever had. It wasn’t even a proper date. The whole atmosphere made the whole boy meets girl scenario much more secondary, in favor of stronger emotions and more fun.

Girls love the unpredictable, so you should be better willing to give it to them. You’ll generate respect, recognition and it will also be a perfect moment for you to inspire. It’s an opportunity to make the girl you want live a more fun, exciting and charming life. Unless you make one terrible mistake on the way, this is really the way to go! You just need the guts to do it.

Which are your usual plans for the first dates? Let us all know and let’s think together about new excellent ideas!

Do you think you are being used?

2011-03-13T00:16:00.000-08:00

You're sailing on a dream-boat of a relationship and everything is hunky-dory, except for that niggling suspicion that your partner is the captain of the boat and you're being taken for a merry ride.

Have your friends been hinting that you're in a one-sided relationship and being used? You may not like to believe it of your "loving" partner or even admit to yourself, but shrug off the comforting denial blanket.

Don't sell yourself short, and you could be being used for sex, money, companionship or status. Does this throw up red flags? Look for these signs and then head to a quick break-up.

Dates are mostly in the bedroom
You are a few months into the relationship but mainly meeting up at each other's homes after or before work? Is food delivered to your doorstep? Ideally, dates should involve going out, sometimes with friends, or doing activities that interest you â€“ movies, treks, cultural festivals, etc. But if you spend more time "doing" than talking, there is a high chance that you are nothing more than a "booty" call. While a sexual connection is appreciable, for a healthy relationship, you need to connect on other, deeper levels too. Not being introduced to friends or colleagues after a month or so is a sure sign something is wrong.

All you do is date
On the flip side, if you're only meeting for dinners and movies and not really hanging out after a few months, you could just be a ticket to a good time. If you're paying for all your entertainment as a couple, then you might be just a meal ticket, or worse still a ploy to make an ex jealous. Does your partner enjoy taking you to office parties or show you off in front of friends and colleagues? Pay attention to his/her behaviour in public places. Do they enjoy rattling off your accomplishments to people you meet? You might just be a trophy then.

After a few weeks of dating, a relationship should move to more intimate experiences like hanging out together at home, chilling with family, etc. If your mate shows no signs of wanting to get off the dating train, but expects you to wine and dine them, it's time you get off.

(S)he is always short of money
It could start with a little change here and there, to get a cab home, but slowly the denominations keep getting bigger. And the money never comes back. Loaning or trusting each other with money is a stage that should come pretty late in a relationship, when you are comfortable living out of each-others pockets. It's a wonderful feeling to have someone to rely on or help out, but it is equally distressing to realise that you're withdrawing a little extra cash every time you meet, just out of habit. Stop lending money and see if your partner sticks around.

(S)he comes over when (s)he is bored
Of course, it's a great feeling to spend as much time together as possible when you are interested in the person. But is the feeling mutual? Can you drop in any time you want to? Or does (s)he have other plans or is busy when you want to come by? Sometimes, a person could just latch on to another because they are afraid of being alone, especially if they are new in town.

In such a case, your company is all (s)he is interested in, rather than you as a person. If the "drop-by" plans are always last minute and you aren't included in his or her other plans, then you are just replacing the television.

Pick Up Lines Work

2011-03-12T22:42:00.000-08:00

Pick up lines work. They certainly do. They a great weapon to have in hand. But not really in the sense you might believe or be thinking about. You should think of pick up lines as a good addition to your approaches, but not as the core and most important part of them. When approaching women there are certainly much more important things to take into account.

No matter how amazing and well thought these pick up lines could be, they are not what make the difference.What really matters here is the attitude in which you communicate. With this I mean the way you speak, your body language and what you inspire to these girls. The pick up line is no more than just the way to break the ice.

Let the truth be told – A guy with attitude, presence and belief but with the worst lines in the world might have much more success approaching than a shy, humble and stupid looking guy, even if this last one knows and studied the best lines. In a case like this, a simple “Hey” of the first guy can strike her more than the most precious line the second one has. After all, girls can predict everything after just a few words are spoken.

If you want to practice approaching women and get better at it, you should focus on raising your value, learning to have a commanding and great speech, your body language and so on. Once you get this done, that’s the moment to start learning those pick up lines too. By themselves they won’t do much, but they certainly will help and make things easier if you already have the first part of the deal complete.

With this said, I’ll give you a few tips with approaching itself. When it comes to pick up lines, there are two things that are important and they should focus on.

Make you differentiate – Most guys around are boring and predictable. The real sex worthy guy is the one who is charming, interesting and, above all, unpredictable. Luckily for us, there’s not many of these guys around. Become one by offering girls a completely different time from the one all the other men do. Your special one might be approached by tens of guys that same night, all of them almost asking her for an interview… So, do something different! Don’t ask her about what’s she studying, about her job – Don’t do what all the rest of the guys already did. Ask her what makes her special, what she does that the others don’t and so on.

Get the conversation going – Because of this, the best way to open is by asking her opinion or advice on something. Women love giving their advice, especially when it comes to something related with love, relationships and friendships. Combine that with some funny jokes early in the conversation and you are off to a good start. The idea is for you to be natural, not to make the situation look creepy or awkward. If you get good with this it doesn’t matter whether you are in a club, in a bar or even in the street.

As for approaching itself, there are also some advices you should take into account:

1- When you are going to approach one girl, remember that her friends also exist. Use them in your advantage, make them part of the conversation and give them enough attention. If they like you, they’ll work in your favor. If they don’t like you, start forgetting about that girl.
2- Tell them your time with them is limited. Say, when you approach a group of girls tell them that you can only stay for five minutes or so. That will help breaking the tension a little bit.
3- Don’t spend too much time thinking – Just approach! As fast as possible. If you take too much time you’ll look creepy, your brain will think excuses for you not approaching and so on. So be fast!
4- Be charming, always! Really, it’s the thing that makes the difference. (My article on how to be charismatic will come soon, I promise!)
5- You’ll be rejected many, many times. Don’t let that get you down and move on to the next one and so on.
6- Last but not least, SMILE. If you want to be successful, approach with a smile on your face. Even if James Bond approaches with a serious looking face, you will do it with a smile! It just works.

As a conclusion to all this, remember that the most simple approaches might surely work if you do it with charm, a smile and a bit of fun. It’s all in the attitude – And combine this attitude with the best lines around it’s a big win.

And always, in any conversation you end up with, speak like a man. Read this article. Be interesting. There’s no point in all of the above if you look like an idiot two minutes into the conversation.

Be wary of gal pals too

2011-03-12T00:15:00.000-08:00

However close you are to your best friend, there are some unsaid rules in a friendship...

Candice Swanepoel

Every girl must have another female friend she can rely on, take advise and enjoy going out with. But sometimes, in a close relationship between gal pals, some silly mistakes can irk an entire friendship. Here's what you can do and avoid doing...

- Understand that your best friend now has a boyfriend and needs time with him. At such moments, don't force yourself in. Ask your friend how you two can come to a comfortable time slot and still enjoy your friendly bliss.

- Do not make the mistake of raving about your friend's new-found man. Never say how hot you find him. Let your friend gush about him. And don't force her into surrendering all the details about his past to you. With time, she will eventually confide in you.

- Never ever flirt or make passes like winking or whistling at your friend's man. It's not just irritating, it can actually break her peace with you.

- Call your friend to join you and your man for a movie but ask her if she is comfortable about it in the first place.

- While the comfort factor may be high between the two of you, do not take away things without asking. Be it make-up, junk jewellery or clothes for a party. Always ask her permission.

Sex-guide according to your age

2011-03-11T00:15:00.000-08:00

Our sexual behaviour varies at different times in our lives. Sex guru Tracey Cox in her bestselling book, 'Sextasy' reveals the sexual urges and traits of lovers according to their age...

Marisa Miller

20-something
Most guys just can't stop dreaming about sex every couple of hours. At this age, girls are usually rebellious in their sexual imaginations. They share same-sex fantasies or want to try out bi-sexuality. A 2006 study of nearly 2000 people discovered that 76 per cent of women who slept with women reached orgasm (for women with men, the figure stands at 50 per cent).
The 20s are the time when young boys and girls are most experimental in their sexual positions. One in 10 people claims Tracey Cox have had a threesome in their early twenties.

Also, people in this age group have most likely visited a strip joint or a lapdancing club - with their friends or their better half.

30 something
The 30s are a time to experiment, almost all 30-somethings claim to have had sex outdoors. Unlike the teens when making out was the most common form of sexual experimentation, most 30 somethings prefer having sex somewhere semi-public like the beach, in the garden or on a park bench in the darkness. There's something wildly erotic about these sexapades! Also, high on the 30 something popularity chart are having sex in the shower or in the bath tub.

Kinky pleasures also rate high as most 30 plus couples claim to be giving in to their fantasies of bondage, blindfolds and spanking on a weekend of debauchery.
This is also the time when women are most likely to befriend gay male pals. Straight women love gay men; gay men love straight women. Swedish research is confirming just why the two groups get along so famously - they both have symmetrical brains. Straight men and lesbians have asymmetrical brain hemispheres.

The 30s also mark the arrival of children in a married couple's life, so the sex drive naturally dwindles. But, Cox points out that during pregnancy, couples have sex four to five times a month. Most put the brakes on their sex lives for about seven weeks after delivery, but four months later are back to four or five times of sex a month. Cox says six months after delivery, the average couple goes back to having sex three to five times a month. But incase you don't fit the bill, remember getting disheartened ain't gonna help. Remember it's just a temporary period, so continue touching and cuddling and if your baby robs you of chances to have sex, indulge in quickies.

Most women says Cox in her book experience higher orgasm rates. Ninety per cent of women past 30 regularly experience orgasm, compared to just 23 per cent of younger women.

40 something
Men in their 40s are more likely to experience erection problems. Also, this is the age when maximum number of men tend to be unfaithful. Also, men are more compelled in their 40s to watch more porn or indulge in sex chats. Women on the other hand get sexually very demanding, often being attracted to younger men.

If you thought the 40s were about low libido, think again, while 40-somethings maybe having less sex than ever, the thrust has shifted from how many times in a week to an emphasis on better quality. You are more sure of your sexual needs in this age group and thus more likely to insist on passion play as opposed to a mere making out session.

How To Give Women Amazing Pleasure

2011-03-10T22:40:00.000-08:00

Why you have to give women good oral sex

Many men underestimate the importance and benefits of giving good oral sex. Good foreplay, we can all agree, can potentiate sexual relationships and make the whole ritual even much more enjoyable. Cunnilingus is a must have skill for all men, as it’s easy to do and the benefits are huge. Also, it’s a great way to differentiate from all those other men who don’t do it – Men who don’t realize the big pleasure it will bring to both you and your couple.

Mind, good foreplay cannot hide the fact that the actual penetration is the most important part of sex. It’s not really just a matter of pleasure – as that depends on the woman – but instead it’s a matter of manhood. Women want to be penetrated and to feel the most rustic and animal part of sex. No matter how good you are with your tongue, you got to make the other part right!

But still, great oral sex gives you enormous advantages. First, you surrender your desires just to give pleasure to the woman. If you know to press the right buttons, that pleasure can be gigantic – maybe the best orgasms she will ever have. As I said, many women have stronger stimulation in the clitoris than with penetration itself – Make sure to give them both!

How is the best way to do all this?

First, remember that for good sex you have to be spontaneous and adventurous. The actual act of sex might always end up in the same – But you got to make the way towards it different, imaginative and absolutely unique. You could be slow or you could be fast, but make sure to make it something special.

A good approach, for example, is the following. Start by kissing her gently in the cheeks, behind the ears, in her neck and then continuing slowly down to her nipples, to her stomach to end up with one gentle and swift kiss in her clitoris and lavia. Then, continue your way down and keep kissing, now focusing on her thighs, legs, fingers and so on. Build up to the moment when you actually deliver the oral sex. Go back to her hot spot and for a few seconds and kiss her there again.

But don’t stay there just yet. Continue the kisses all around, make her slowly get more and more aroused.Do this by keeping the kisses going all over her body as well as using your hands to gently touch her. Touch her skin, her hair, her lips and also her clitoris when your head is somewhere else. Do this for some time and she’ll get really excited. To sum of to this excitement you should also touch her with your penis, almost as if it were involuntary, but you got to make her feel and see it. It will make her even more aroused.

Once she is really aroused, you can proceed to deliver persistent cunnilingus. Make sure to find the clitoris and use your tongue with ease. Invent – be gentle, calibrate the speed and don’t do always the same movements. Go up, go down, make swirls and make sure to also kiss instead of only licking too. Do it andmake her feel a star, speak to her and always use your hands to touch her and keep growing that excitement.

After a decent amount of time licking, kissing and touching her clitoris and lavia you can also penetrate with one or two of your fingers. Gently, slowly first and only if your fingernails are well-cut and clean, so as not to give her any pain – you have to give her pleasure and only pleasure. Build up to the moment when you actually penetrate with your penis.

Make sure to get a good timing. Do this for a considerable amount of time – ideally you could have her having one orgasm from it before penetration or at least have her very close it. But don’t overdo it either – Make sure that it’s not too little or nor too much. Remember to use your hands at every moment. If you want to stop licking and would like to kiss her in the lips on somewhere else instead, keep stimulating her with your fingers, so as not to lose the arousal. If you have your head down, use your hands to stimulate other erogenous zones as could be her nipples or neck, for example.

Always talk to her and ask her what is what she likes the most. Ask her how she likes it and what she doesn’t like. Make sure to follow her desires so as to make her the most pleased, satisfied and ultimately happy with you. If you think she is dirty or that there’s one problem with her that might make you not do this, let her know. You could get her pissed and angry for a couple of minutes, but it’s all worth it for her and you if you two can achieve a more successful sexual life.

Important: there’s a small, yet real chance that giving or receiving oral sex could transmit you sexual diseases as HIV. Because of this I strongly recommend you to be careful choosing with which women you would do this. For more information about this, you could check the articles on Wikipedia here.

Finally, sex, in the end, is a skill. The best way to get better at it, as in with any other thing you do, is practice. Once you have your woman try to see what works better, what doesn’t do well and try developing your own techniques. But always remember that the objective here is to make her have pleasure she will never forget.

Sex mantra: Heat it up!

2011-03-10T00:15:00.000-08:00

We tend to associate good sex with heat. We use terms like hot, steamy, scorching, searing when describing memorable sex. On the other hand cold showers, cold shoulders, and cold hearts generally aren't associated with lustful pursuits.

Miranda Kerr

Here are some hot and cold tips to spin your world on its head!

- Bring something cold and hot to bed. That bag of frozen peas may not be ready to be cooked rightaway, but wrap it in a t-shirt and bring it into bed tonight.

- Ice-cubes are always there. Dip them in chocolate or strawberry syrup and enjoy licking it off your partner. You don't want to use the cold to shock your lover. Be sure to wait until things have hit a rhythm in the sex, and then gently touch a less sensitive part of your partner's body with the cold. Once they know what's coming, you can experiment heating things up with your bodies, and then cooling it down with a more sensitively placed cold touch.

- To heat things up, you can explore everything from silicone toys and glass toys (both of which retain heat and warm up nicely if you soak them in hot water before using).

As always, have fun!

Can a woman propose a man for sex?

How To Be Charismatic

2011-03-09T22:28:00.000-08:00

Being charismatic

A charismatic person is one who is a leader, who has a message to deliver and that makes others feel special around him. He makes them feel they really matter and to know that if they are with him, no matter where, they are going to have a great time. The charismatic man is also the one who bonds and impresses and who is the center of the attention anywhere he goes, voluntarily or involuntarily.

Moreover, a charismatic man knows how to speak, has ambition and determination and also has a great story to tell. He gives flavor and has overwhelming confidence in himself. He inspires others to follow their dreams and leaves something lasting inside everyone he meets.

You can be charismatic

“Tiger Woods may be the world’s most skilled golfer, but he’s also the one who practices the most.”

Now, you might be wondering how in the world you could do all that, right? But let me tell you one thing:charisma is a skill. As such, everyone can learn it, even those who you least expect to. It’s all about practice – If you want to become a charismatic man, you got to get down for some serious training. It’s a hard and long path, but there is a way, I’m sure about it. After all, think about being charismatic as if it were a muscle – the more you practice, the better you’ll get at it.

Of course, there are a few people who are naturally better than the rest. Just as some are more skilled playing the guitar or for some sports, some of these people were born already charming. But if you practice enough, you can get even better than them. You have to commit yourself to achieve this. I’ll cover in this article how you can do this.

Getting the right mindset

The first thing you have to do is to get yourself the right mindset. You need to have absolute confidence in yourself, 100% belief in you and how great you are. You have to love yourself and become someone special – someone with a big smile inside and that can withstand social pressure. Charisma, though can be learned, can’t be faked. If you don’t believe in yourself, there’s no way you could expect others to do so.

Getting into the right frequency

The right frequency is when you are energetic, happy and with a consistent rhythm. It’s that moment when you are the center of the attention, when everyone wants to hear from you and when you are giving away your belief and charisma. Being in that mood is great. But the truth is that people, including myself, can’t be in that frequency all the time. The good news, though, is that you can get at it many more times than you do now.

The key is to know yourself, in which frequency you are and how to jump from one frequency to the other. I like to identify three kinds of frequencies – green, yellow and red (think of this as a traffic light metaphor.) Green is when I’m the guy from the first paragraphs, yellow is a bit more of an easy going and neutral self and red is when I’m just another guy in a group of people, nervous and insecure.

Of course, every time I am around friends, women and people I want to meet, I want and have to be green. But one day I wake up red, some day yellow… I’m not naturally green every day, no one is. That’s why you have to learn to jump between these frequencies. The best way to do so is identifying and creating a ritual.

The rituals

If I’m in the red frequency, feeling not good and in an easy-to-see bad mood, what I do is the following: I get my short pants, charge my Ipod with heavy metal or some nice audio book and go for a run. I jog for at least half hour in the street, stop to exercise a bit and then continue running for some more time. When I’m finished I make a loud shout.

Once I get back home and have a long and refreshing shower, I sit down and write about my thoughts and feelings in pen and paper while having a coffee or drink. The combination of the two makes me feel great and reborn. Usually, this helps bringing my frequency the closest possible to green. To finish the deal, I call and speak with people who are always happy to hear from me, just to see how they are doing. All this helps to bring good energy back to me and make me feel great soon afterwards. If I don’t have enough time or I am in no place to run, I still do the last two steps.

You got to identify which kind of rituals work great for yourself. You got to find a way to become green every moment you can!

Planning your encounters

“Spectacular achievements are always preceded by spectacular preparation.”

Once you have the right mindset and the correct frequency, what you got to do is to plan your encounters.Behind any great joke and every great man there is enormous preparation. Take for example Winston Churchill: he is known today a master speaker, a fantastic dinner guest and the one who always captivated everyone’s attention. What is less known, and I quote the great book Never Eat Alone, “is the blood, sweat and tears of preparation that went into the making of a single sentence of the delivery of a clever joke. Churchill realized the power of knowing his audience and knowing how to push the buttons.”

In a way, this is kind of the same the so-called Pick Up Artists do when they develop routines, patters of speech and so on. You have to take a few of these, make up some of your own, learn quotations and jokes – and calibrate the right time to deliver all of these. You need to have consistent material in yourself and ways to also show off your value every moment possible. Also, you should practice ways to remember people’s names and develop conversations that make them feel special, for instance.

Keep checking this site as there’s a lot of material helping you to do exactly this kind of things!

Go out and practice

But, even if I keep writing down about different ways you could become more charismatic, it all ends up in just one thing I already told you about: practice. Training is the key. Take what I wrote above with you and go out! Go to places where you could meet people and have a conversation with – and this, by the way, is not clubs. Go backpacking, go to live with friends, join groups about things you love, take classes about topics you always wanted to learn about. Only that way you’ll give your charisma muscle the work it needs to become stronger every time! If you got the right mindset and frequency and you are prepared as well, it will be easy for you to start making some impact. Keep growing from your success and the results will start coming.

Good luck at gambling is in your genes

2011-03-09T00:14:00.000-08:00

Are you exceptionally lucky when you gamble? A new study suggests that if you are, it may be all down to your genes.

Miranda Kerr

The so-called ''warrior gene'' (MAOA-L gene variant) may give its carriers better judgement when confronted with financial risk rather than make them prone to impulsive decisions.

The gene variant is associated with lower production of the enzyme and has been repeatedly linked to risky behaviour, reports Nature .

The new study, led by Cary Frydman at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena, used computational probability models to assess the patterns of choices made by the individuals in the study and to distinguish between two ways in which genetics might be influencing such behaviour â€” by affecting the value assigned to options (''value''), or by affecting the process by which the brain compares the values of two options (''choice'').

The approach, Frydman said, was designed to "shed some light on the potential mechanisms in the brain which risk-taking passes through".

Frydman found that MAOA-L carriers opted for the riskier choice in 41 per cent of decisions, whereas carriers of MAOA-H did so 36 per cent of the time.

The MAOA variant MAOA-H specifies higher levels of the enzyme.

But when faced with a potentially winning gamble, subjects carrying MAOA-L made the optimal choice more often than those with MAOA-H.

In other words, those with the ''warrior gene'' weren't making risky financial decisions because they were rash, but because they were adept at rooting out the better choice.

"It shows that risky behaviour is not always counterproductive and it's not always suboptimal," Frydman said.

The study does have limitations. Among these, the authors note that 19 participants were excluded from the computational modelling because, for some at least, the answers were too perfect, suggesting that they were following an ''offline'' rule instead of responding instinctively, making it difficult to model their decision-making accurately.

Picking Up Girls During The Day Strategies – The Dog

2011-03-08T22:32:00.000-08:00

This is the first of the strategies to approach and pick up women during the day. The general and generic rules for success were posted on that old article. But just to remind you, remember that the most important things are for you to be natural and direct, as well as possitive and to inspire safety. As with everything, failure can and will happen. But you got to practice and develop these techniques until you get more and more successful.

As the title implies, this technique is all about dogs – and believe me, you got to love these guys. They are men’s best friend for one good reason! They are always happy to see you and are always full of energy and joy. If you have a dog as pet it would be impossible for you not to love them. But yet, even if you don’t appreciate them for all what they are already, there’s one more reason for you to start doing so. Dogs are one of the best help you’ll ever have when picking up girls during the day.

Dogs pose, for you and the girls, as a perfect excuse to open a conversation. If you were walking in the street and approached some girl, it may look a bit odd. But instead, if you approach her while she is walking out her dog, the approach becomes somehow more accepted. After all, phrases as “Oh, what a lovely dog. What’s his name?” look totally inoffensive. This applies not only for when you are the one approaching, but also when girls might want to approach you instead. It’s not so common for a girl to start talking to you randomly in the street – but if you are walking out your dog these things just happen.

Dogs are popular by themselves, but in many cases if a girl approaches you while you are walking out your dog is because she is interested in YOU and not only on him. If she finds you attractive and would like to speak with you, she might find your pet as a perfect excuse to do so. Of course, she’ll start speaking about him and not about you, but once the ice has broken, everything gets easier.

So dress up nicely, look your best and take your dog out for a walk. Or, instead, you can also go for a coffee in some nice bar with tables out, and while you are sitting down and doing something interesting girls might bite the hook. Of course, the dog will be the star of any chitchat conversation, and it’s your duty to make this become something more serious. The key, again, is to be direct. Pick up lines as “Hey, this is unbelievable. You know, this little guy never seems likes anyone… But he’s really into you” work for this goal. Say this in a charming, well spoken way and you will start getting the conversation where you want it to go. The point is to emphasize her uniqueness and make her feel special and important.

That’s the hardest part of the deal. Once you start getting the conversation going you can ask her for her phone number and arrange a first date. You don’t have anything to lose! Again, rejection can and will happen, but the results while doing this in a regular way will just amaze you. And don’t go out just with the expectation of getting girls too. You could, every time you have to study, for instance, go to the café or to the park and take your dog with you. He’ll be bursting out with joy as all dogs love to go out too. Make it a habit and you’ll see success.

Some extra tips to take into account:

- A Rottweiler, English Mastiff or any other gigantic, frightening-looking dogs, despite how lovely and caring they must be, are not good for this strategy. Cute, small or middle sized breeds are the best to go.

- If you don’t have a dog, you can still go out with a friend’s or even with your grandma’s, if she has one. As long as you like these dogs and make them have a nice time with you, everything is permitted!

- I can’t think whether you could be successful with another kind of pet. For the moment, I stick with dogs.

- Its way possible that in the end the girl might just be only and absolutely only interested in touching and caressing the dog and nothing else. But it’s ok! Success rate is already high enough.

Work on your bedroom moves..

2011-03-08T00:15:00.000-08:00

After a few years into a relationship, couples usually complain about the monotony and boredom creeping in. Here is what you can do to enhance your relationship:

Miranda Kerr

Romantic setting
Your bedroom needs to be a comfortable place, your haven. The lighting, the kind of furniture you have, the mood your bedroom induces â€” everything plays a part when it comes to romance in your life.

Don't rush through life
Oh yes, we know all about 'no time to stand and stare'. Our lives these days are very hectic and busy. No one really has the luxury of time anymore but if you want your relationship to carry on you will need to slow things down. Linger on the foreplay time and make sure your time together with your partner is not just about the intercourse. Try calling in 'making love' instead of sex for a while. It makes a difference. '

Change the scene
You should try and go a little away from routine. Why don't the two of you just rent a hotel room for a change? The new place may make make you adventurous!

Appreciate your partner
Complimenting your partner and appreciating his/her moves can go a long way. Just letting them know how good they look can boost their confidence and make them do things in bed that you probably did not expect. If you find some particular move is doing you good and igniting your passion let your partner know it.

Innovate
Don't go for the same routine. Arrange to put up a large mirror on the ceiling or a wall. See yourself in the act â€” it can be highly erotic and arousing. (Don't think of Feng Shui for a while) Take a shower together.

Date your spouse
You both have probably been together for years now including all those years of your courtship. Just think of those days when you had just begun dating â€” you would never take your partner for granted, you would go all out. Do it again. Go out on a date and have a great time.

People You Should Never Sleep With

2011-03-07T22:27:00.000-08:00

There are some women in this world with whom you should never even think on sleeping with. They could become those adventures you’ll regret for countless days, if not more! No matter how much in love you are or how beautiful you think they are, the best would be for you to restrain. It’s all a matter of avoiding unnecessary conflicts and trouble.

Family

Ok guys, there are more than three billion women in this world. Out of those many, if you go and pick one of your family it’s just plain stupid. It’s a matter of morality – you just don’t have to! It’s odd, unnecessary and could bring a lot of problems. Perhaps it would be fine for you, but think on the rest of the family too and how many problems and conflicts something like this could start.

If you got some heart and care about what your parents, grandpas and everyone else thinks and feels, just restrain yourself. Out of all those women, just don’t go for your family. Don’t go and bring conflicts into the very heart of something of such an importance. It’s in the end, not worth it!

Co-workers

You should also never sleep with one of your co workers. It’s a time bomb that could explode when you least expect it to. If you value your career be careful with this! In Argentina we have this saying that roughly translates as “Don’t do shit where you eat,” and it’s meant to be applied in something such as this. Sleeping with a co worker could not only jeopardize your career, but you should also think that you’ll see that face for eight hours every day. Is it worth it?

Unless you are very much in love, it’s definitely not. The cons greatly outnumber any pros you might find. To add more troubles, also think about all the gossip and bad talk that you sleeping with your college might spur. I don’t know what do you think, but I believe that, despite I don’t give a damn about what everyone else thinks, to have rumors and gossip going on about me all over the place is just stupid and, over all, annoying. I don’t like it and I think it’s something to be avoided.

Friend’s Girlfriends or Exs

If you sleep with one of your friends’ girlfriend, you are an asshole and a very bad person. Wise men say thatwomen come and go, but friendships are meant to last forever. I pretty much agree on that and think that no woman, NONE, is worth destroying an important friendship. And mind, you’ll actually destroy any friendship if you go sleep with a friend’s girlfriend or some important Ex.

This is the case where I would omit giving any exception. Even if you are very much in love with a friend’s girlfriend, keep your head in place. You sleep with her and you’ll only make your friend hate you, you will lose the respect of your other friends and you’ll end up with a woman you know is a bad person too. Absolutely not worth it.

Roommates

Though it may not have consequences as terrible as the first three, sleeping with one of your roommates is a very bad idea. The relationship with your roommates should always be as excellent as it could be – after all, they are the people who you share your place with. Sex could and will bring problems and possible conflicts into the atmosphere.

Wouldn’t you, in the end, feel odd bringing some other girl home if you already slept with one of your roommates? Even if you don’t, she will. It’s better to have roommates as great friends who you have a deep connection with, but just not sexual. Rather restrain yourself and make it clear from the beginning that you wouldn’t do it.

Conclusion

Don’t let your dick control your head. Follow your heart, but bear in mind the consequences your actions could have in the future. It’s really worth to destroy and bring problems into your future because of a bit of horniness? Think always about the abundance of women and just pick someone else!

From an arranged match to a love affair

2011-03-07T00:14:00.000-08:00

This arranged match is now a love affair for a lifetime

Whenever a female acquaintance sees my husband doting on me, she invariably says, "Aww...love marriage?" When I reply in the negative, the next question usually is "Love-arranged?" I then offer, "arranged-cum-love," proud to have coined a new term in relationship studies.

Monika Pietrasinska

My husband proposed to me over the third "date" set up by our families. I had successfully managed to maintain the 'mystery' about myself with my short and sweet answers, which he labelled "good heartedness" (honestly, I was just not as eloquent as the "big fan of communication" that he is). I felt as if I had known him for a lifetime and was ready for six more. At that time, I thought I was saying "I do" to a quirky US-returned guy who loved eating Thai food, visiting museums, and skiing. Being the small town girl that I am, I liked Indian-Chinese, felt drowsy in museums and preferred siesta over sport (I wasn't exactly sure what skiing was). "I'm okay if you're okay," I said, accepting his deal romantically.

I don't know why I said yes, though. Maybe because he made my favourite part of the fairytale - of somebody going down on one knee with a ring - come true for me. Or maybe because, with him, I felt comfortable the very first time we met. So after his proposal and my acceptance began our not-so-comfortable courtship. I had to "report" to him every night on the phone what I did during the day. At first, I went blank on encountering the question I had never been subject to before and had seldom thought about: What did you do today? Well, I ate and slept and watched TV. But of course I wasn't going to tell him that.

Now I think I was probably attracted to him because he was so much the opposite of everything I was that we had to be together. I'm extremely impatient, while he talks and listens carefully, savours food and feels gratitude. While I am always anxious about the future, he relishes the present like no other tense exists. I am supersensitive and nothing and nobody can ruffle him. While I like to flaunt my greatness for no reason at all, he likes to "live in the shadows" (like the proverbial 'source' who wishes his identity be kept undisclosed). I need everything to go right in order to be happy and he feels he doesn't have any reason to be unhappy (He has me, after all).

Sometimes his many positives get on my nerves. Why does he have to be rational all the time? Why can't he take what I say at face value without doing a cost-benefit analysis? Why doesn't he pamper me? Why does he want me to become independent? Why is he so righteous that he cannot fight impulsively for me like Ghatak's Sunny Deol or swear like Sholay's Dharmendra? Why does he never show his possessiveness for me? Thankfully, knowing that he loves me above everything and everybody makes these trifles hardly worth bothering about.

Many things have changed over the last two years since we met, but some haven't. I still am inexpressive but he somehow comes to know what's on my mind. Even now, when the doorbell rings in the evening, I struggle to make a mental note of what I'm going to say when he asks me what I did during the day. I have realised, though, that whatever I do (and that includes doing nothing) doesn't matter to him as long as I am happy. I have come to love Pad Thai, I don't mind going to museums with my husband sporadically (with the exchange offer that he will take me to watch a romantic comedy the next day). And after trying skiing on bunny slopes last winter, I have told him to take me skiing to Colorado next. What has changed in him? Well, he now goes to Hindi movies with me (and almost always cries during the emotional scenes). And he wears jeans with a flashy yellow jacket just because I like it.

On our "proposal" anniversary, he surprised me with a day trip to a palace hotel in Rajasthan. It was perfect - there was a swimming pool attached to our room, we pretended to be royalty, he gifted me Swarovski earrings and after a seven-course dinner we had delicious chocolate cake. With that day as the benchmark, I was looking forward to our wedding anniversary, wondering how he would outdo his own surprise. We sat by the Charles river (we've been in the US for some time now) and munched pizza. When I dramatically asked my year-old husband why the "proposal anniversary" enjoyed superiority over the actual wedding anniversary, he gently said, "Because I married you in my mind on that day, darling." I guess it was a love marriage then.

Displaying Lower Value – Being a Loser

2011-03-06T22:25:00.000-08:00

In many past articles I insisted on the concept of value and how important it is for you to raise it. I taught you different techniques and ways you achieve this and, as a consequence, become more attractive to women. But this time we’ll work on the other end of the deal. I’ll focus on which of your manners get your value down and thus kill the attraction you want to create. There’s no point in you becoming a great storyteller or a great cook if you keep taking your value down!

Overall, there’s one big value killer: the constant seeking of approval. Any low value man will be in a permanent search for approval and recognition from the others. This search for approval is shown off when you keep justifying, keep explaining and keep apologizing for your actions. It’s when you look needy and when you really care about what others think of you.

The truth is you don’t need to give a damn of what anyone else thinks of you. You don’t need THEM to approve your actions, nor to tell you what’s good and what’s wrong. You need to have your personality in place! So be sure of yourself and of what you believe – only apologize, justify and thoroughly explain your actions when you really, really fucked something up.

The other big value killer is the lack of social proof. Perhaps you are perfectly dressed and you are a great looking man, but if you are just one more dog in the pack, you won’t be as successful as you want. Who do you think is more attractive to women: a man who approaches, is charismatic, a leader and goes straight to the front or a man who is shy, nervous and, in the end, just one more guy in the group? Obviously, the first is more attractive! You got to be that first man – If you are man number two, your chances will be slim. Fortunately, this site has a lot of material that can help you becoming more like man number one. You could start by checking the articles on becoming a good speaker and also the one on charisma, for instance.

Finally, a low value man will also show off his lack of social proof by having a low voice volume in public, few friends, very weak body language and by not keeping consistent eye contact. You need to be exactly the contrary. You need to show you can withstand social pressure and that you are not intimidated by the role of the leader. You need to make the world see you are there, that you are actually a stand out of the crowd!

Men’s manicure simplified

2011-03-06T00:14:00.000-08:00

Viviane Araujo

"Vanity is a man's priority," said a popular Bollywood director in one of his recent interviews, "because men too believe in taking care of his hands and keeping them in manicured condition."

Jenny Lopez

Well, making no bones about metrosexuality, the truth is today's men don't shy away from caring for their hands. But if you are too coy for manicure at a parlour, adapt these easy steps and keep your hands in top-of-the-world condition.

Wash and cleanse them
To forget washing your hands after a meal is common. Even though you have used a tissue paper, food particles remain stuck around the corner of your nails. So, always remember to use soap and rinse your hands thoroughly. Use a gel or cream cleanser on them everyday before retiring to bed or after a bath.

What's more you can even adapt a homegrown technique. Use the juice of citrus fruits such as orange or lemon onto your hands, and massage well before rinsing it off with soap. Always towel-dry your hands â€“ they stay soft that way!

Chip off calloused skin and moisturise
Exfoliation is most important for your skin, particularly in maintaining soft, kissable hands. This can be done by soaking your hands for a few minutes in lukewarm water. You can even add drops of hand-wash gel to the water and stir it before dipping your hands in it. After five minutes, you will be able to peel off the dead skin with a damp sponge.

Another way of doing it is to squish orange or cucumber pulp and dab it on your palms, and do a thorough massage. Rinse your hands and follow it up by rubbing a small quantity of moisturiser into them. Gradually, you can cultivate a habit of using moisturiser every time you wash your hands.

Trim your nails regularly
Men, as a rule of thumb, should always keep their nails clipped. Claw-like nails are capable of bruising your girl in sensitive places, which in no way will be overlooked by her! It is not only an embarrassing situation, but also a matter of how hygiene conscious you are. After trimming, round off the edges with a filer. Don't forget, women observe!

Use nail hardener â€“ there is nothing dandy about it!
You can even use a nail hardener; it is a kind of varnish for your nails. Hardener helps keep your nails clean and healthy. It is in fact an apt finish to a well-groomed hand. And be sure she will notice your hands with a sense of admiration.

Go for calcium tablets
Brittle nails are indicative of calcium deficiency. There is a range of calcium tablets and supplements on the market that makes nails strong and healthy. Nails too need nutrition, and this can be provided by taking multivitamins with a big dose of calcium. You can even consider a breakfast of green salad with a glass of toned milk. Not to mention, an adequate intake of water during the day.

2 Girls Teach Sex Review

2011-03-05T22:16:00.000-08:00

2 Girls Teach Sex

I had been writing my own Sex Manual for long – I wrote and rewrote countless articles until I found one program that made me scrap them all: it’s called 2 Girls Teach Sex and I’m fully endorsing it.

2 Girls Teach Sex is a sexual education product with live footage and with real porn stars – it’s high quality product for anyone looking for a real, solid and very explicit advice of what a man has to do in bed. Unlike the guide I wanted to write, this is a collection educational videos that can take the advice many steps further.

The 2 Girls Teach Sex program includes:

DVD 1 – ‘Multiple Orgasm Methods’
DVD 2 – ‘Forbidden Sex Secrets’
DVD 3 – ‘Advanced Sex Techniques For Guaranteed Orgasms’
DVD 4 – ‘Shawna’s Porn Star Sex Secrets’
Bonus DVD – ‘Secrets Of Squirting Orgasms’

The names in the program might be a little bit vague – but the DVDs cover it all. From kissing to foreplay, to stamina and some special sexual positions. They are mix of seminar with live demonstrations of the techniques – you’ll see the girls doing the magic and then you’ll have a step-by-step seminar of what they were doing.

A few things to know about the 2 Girls Teach Sex program:

#1 – The Techniques Are ADVANCED.

Many techniques and strategies caught me by surprise – and I guess that most will be unknown to most men too. I was really surprised with the level of the techniques included in the program, and believe that the knowledge will give anyone who knows them a big advantage compared to other guys.

And best, these techniques are all SIMPLE. Just by moving your finger in a certain way or positioning her legs in another one you can deliver her mind-blowing orgasm and improve your stamina. It’s advanced techniques but easy to learn – and the step-by-step guidance makes it very easy for you to dive into every small detail of the action.

Beyond plain sex, the techniques include how to tease, kiss, and undress a woman.

#2 – You’ll Get Very Valuable Seminar Advice.

The 2 Girls are the highlight and the soul of this program. But that’s not where 2 Girls Teach Sex ends. You’ll get high quality insight from Shawna and Jessica in the seminar DVDs and in the manual.

Shawna goes for a high goal: she wants to make women become addicted to you on a sexual level. Guaranteeing a sexual connection can get you a long way with women, and this seminar goes deep into what you need to do, step by step. It’s about the psychological tricks, the speak and the techniques to perform excellent regardless of your size or how long you last.

Both girls are real porn stars, so when it comes to sexual experience they know what they are talking about.

#3 – The Production High-end.

The DVDs have terrific image, sound and editing.

In fact, the editing is one of the highlights of the program. You’ll have text on-screen explaining you exactly what is that the girls are doing. Even the most absentminded guys will understand exactly what is they’ll have to do. The editing makes it easy.

Needless to say, the 2 Girls are very hot. You won’t be disappointed - in fact, it might distract you a little bit, eh!

#4 – It’s a Perfect Program for Those Insecure.

While I recommend this program to everyone, it’s those with little to no sexual experience who will benefit the most from it. Learning the techniques included in these DVDs will guarantee a big rise in your confidence in bed and in sex in general.

When I was beginning in sex I really didn’t know what to do, and that’s what made me the most nervous. Nerves in bed take a toll: loss of erection, premature ejaculation and all the worst evils – you don’t want that. While watching these DVDs won’t make you a sex maestro from one day to the other, they will impact your sexual life in a positive way.

2 Girls Teach Sex is my pick for sexual education.

I fully endorse this program. Learning these techniques will give you an enormous advantage and what you might need to rock in bed. It will take you weeks to try all the material out, but once you finish you’ll be playing in another league.

Get the program HERE.

101 ways to torture your husband

2011-03-05T00:13:00.000-08:00

Shoot Baby Shoot

A new book advising women on the 101 ways they can torture their husbands has been released by an award-winning New York radio broadcaster.

Monika Pietrasinska

According to the Sun , the book, '101 Ways to Torture Your Husband', by author Maria Garcia-Kalb, talks of the clever tactics women can employ to make their husbands beg for mercy, reports the Daily Telegraph . Some of the top tips include 'repeatedly asking him if you are fat' while in underwear and showing off the most unflattering parts of your body, or 'faking it and telling him you did' just to keep his ego in check.

The other advices she gave were, 'sign him up for dance class', 'treat him to a massage with a male masseuse', 'send him on a hellish supermarket trip', 'volunteer him for the school field trip', and 'refer to yourself only in third person.' She further writes that the one way you can really get at your husband is to 'finally open up to his family' by telling his mother you don't like her cooking or showing his grandmother the naughty tattoo on your bottom.

If that is not enough, a women can always ruin her husband's day by saying 'we need to talk' just before he leaves for work in the morning so he's left wondering all day what he'll face when he gets home. The book also says that wives who want to push their husbands to the edge can also bribe them with sex then fail to pay up, or they can kick it up a notch by wearing racy underwear in bed but sleeping all night long.

Girls’ Sex Signals

2011-03-04T22:13:00.000-08:00

In the past I wrote about the ways girls show interest in men. The one-year old list is still one of the most popular articles on this website, but it still lacks something critical: depth. This post is going to go a bit deeper in that topic and explaining thoroughly some of the most important points in the list.

Before starting, remember: a single signal of these does not indicate total attraction to you. It’s still just an indicator of interest. Once these individual signals become more frequent and obvious, then it’s when you can be more certain that she’s interested in you.

Remember not to overreact to this signals. Don’t make your desire of success and excitement deceive you – take it nice and easy. Not every time she flocks her hair will mean she’s interested in you. The same applies to the contrary: if she doesn’t show this signals or does them very subtly it doesn’t mean she’s uninterested in you.

So here it is part of the upgraded and expanded list of what you should be looking for.

Hair Toss / Playing With Her Hair

Someone recently told me: “Lesbians usually have short hair, and that’s because it’s masculine.” It struck me, because it’s something obvious and simple and yet I had never really picked up on it. While we men usually keep it short, girls pride on their long, beautiful girl – it has always been like that.

A girl will proudly display her hair, and when she starts tossing it she’ll essentially be saying “look, I’m happy, confident, sexy and healthy.” That’s literally what a hair toss and the highlighting of her hair means. She wouldn’t do that to you if you she wasn’t interested, right?

The Lip Nibble

This one drives me crazy, and I’m sure it’s the same for you too. Apparently no one knows the reason behind this, but it’s uncontested that it gives us men a big push of excitement. Usually it goes like this: her lower lip is gently gripped by her teeth and then, after a few seconds, it’s sensually allowed to slip away.

Sometimes it’s a parody, right, but watch out for this one. When girls do the lip nibble in the right context it usually means you are only a few steps away from ending the job.

Tilt and Smile

You know it the moment you see it: the tilt and smile always means there’s something going on. The tilt is one of girls’ most common signals, literally meaning: “I’ve noticed you and like what I’m seeing.” The smile adds to this – it means she’s feeling good and she wants you to know it.

Most times, girls will tilt and smile at you a couple of times. It’s their seductive way of getting your attention.When they do it, they expect you to walk up to them and speak up. Make sure you don’t think about it too long – if you don’t, even after several times, get this signal she’ll give up on you.

Check back next week (or, better, if you haven’t already, subscribe) as I’ll post more of these signals in-depth.

Ways to get your man hooked

2011-03-04T00:13:00.000-08:00

Shoot Baby Shoot

Try to not be the one to make the first move. You may be an independent woman, but men like the chase. Also, he shouldn't take you for granted. If you keep initiating social activities, eventually, you'll be less of a girlfriend and more of a social life planner.

Marilia Moreno

As the woman, you shouldn't be overtly sexual at the beginning of the relationship. Keep body contact subtle, like a hand on the knee or touch on the elbow. No matter how 'evolved' and 'modern' you and your man are, sex is still a big step in any relationship. Doing little things to show that your guy is on the top of your mind, is a good idea. It could be surprising him by cooking his favourite meal. We don't mean becoming his personal assistant â€” these have to be things you like doing for him.

Tell him when he's looking good, remark on a clever joke and always appreciate his good qualities. Help him prepare for a presentation, or dress up for an interview. The aim is to build a network of mutual trust. Women always want to know where they stand in a relationship and what their future is. Men dread this kind of pressure. They'd rather just enjoy the moment. So don't keep talking about how all your friends are married and how you want to have babies really fast. It might scare him off.

Dating Danish Women

2011-03-03T22:12:00.000-08:00

Just moved to Copenhagen, Denmark – finally! That’s the main reason behind the lack of updates – planning the trip, then apartment hunting, going out and starting life in such a different place is taking most of my time and energy.

But I’m not here to tell you my impressions from Copenhagen or travel experiences – no. What I’ll write this time is what I think and my experience with Scandinavian girls so far.

I’ll speak for Danish girls, but you can most likely draw the same conclusions for Norwegians and Swedish – they are not the same but still very similar.

As always, generalizations are never good. While I’ll give an overall opinion or point, there are obviously tons of exceptions!

It’s Not a Myth – Girls Are REALLY Beautiful

Valkyries, as one good friend pointed out – in reference to the mythological Nordic deities. And it’s not all about blonde and tall girls – it’s just that they are all good looking. It’s no less than incredible.

Their faces look neat – tidy, sexy and with just everything right. Add to that spectacular hair (blonde, black, brown and red all look good), deep bright eyes and a lovely white, soft and delicate skin.

Bodies follow suit – both tall and shorter girls have nice breasts, good butts and seductive legs. They eat well, do plenty of sports (people cycle everywhere here) and are blessed with good genetics. The outcome is perfect – at least when they are young!

They Are Equals to Men

Or even more manly than men are. I touched this topic a while back, but I constantly notice that girls in North Europe act more like men and guys act more like girls. Here girls approach guys, and guys spend hours grooming themselves in the bathroom before going out.

Weird to me – normal here. The conclusion is that just by approaching a girl you’ll be standing out. Back in Argentina it would be normal for me (and any other guy) to approach 10+ girls a night. And that’s a short, short estimate. Here people were scandalized when I told them what I did back home.

The ‘surprise effect’ of approaching girls here gives anyone doing it a big advantage. Girls won’t tell you to ‘die’ or ‘fuck off’ like they do in Argentina even after you only said a simple ‘hello’. If you come up with the right lines or look fun and easy going you’ll be off to a good start.

Approaching Outside Clubs Works Best

Being a foreigner always has benefits when it comes to flirting. I abuse of my Spanish/Italian English accent and it gives me terrific results. By some reason girls love it and I show it off everywhere.

That, along my will to learn the language (something special, as I’m the only one who cares about learning Danish among my group of friends) makes me a good choice for a ‘coffee’. And you know what happens when coffees go good: they turn into beers, dates, etc.

The trick is to be nice and fun all times. It’s all about saying ‘hi’ enough, smiling lots and making comments that will brighten the girl’s days up. It costs nothing and nobody does it – it’s perfect to stand out in the positive way.

They Are Cold – But Not THAT Much

I have only been here for ten days, so I can’t give a decisive opinion on how cold girls are here. But they are certainly warmer than I expected.

And, unlike Germans and other Central Europeans, they are not completely useless when it comes to cooking and doing household things – something that at least I consider important in a woman.

It’s a nice surprise. As hot girls could be here, I can never consider them potential girlfriends if they are not a bit hot blooded. I’ve been raised to like one way of living and like that way of living. I can compromise for a bit less – I don’t demand girls to be perfect, but I certainly want them to be women.

That’s all for now – hopefully I’ll have lots of new insights and more to tell you in the coming weeks. I’ll push myself hard – you need to be here to see how gorgeous these girls are!

Thursday is best for having sex

2011-03-03T00:13:00.000-08:00

Rachel Cordingley

Did you know Thursday is best for having sex? Or Wednesday is the best bet to find the love of your life? If not, then here''s a new study that tells you the special thing attached to each day of the week.

Paula Marciniak

A latest research from the London School of Economics has stated that whatever day it is, there''s always something we can do to get the most out of life - from having sex to getting a salary hike, reports the Sun .

Here's list of the things you can do throughout the week:

Monday
Best for de-stressing: Find time to chill out, advises the study from British Medical Journal. It says you are 20 per cent more likely to die of a heart attack on a Monday due to the fall-out from weekend alcohol bingeing and the stress of returning to work.

Tuesday
Best for nailing that to-do list: We''re most productive, on this day to get things done. A study by the US Society for Industrial and Organisational Psychology says our rational "left" brain dominates thinking early in the week and is better for routine, mundane jobs.

Wednesday
Best for looking for love: This day is ideal for a first date, say more than 40 per cent of 8,000 singletons polled. If it goes well you get a handy day''s breathing space before the follow-on Friday date. And if it doesn''t work out, you can arrange to see friends at the weekend and not dwell on your disaster.

Asking for a raise: Bosses are most receptive to requests for pay rises on Wednesdays, a survey of more than 1,500 UK top brass shows.

Thursday
Getting busy between the sheets: Natural cortisol energy levels, which stimulate sex hormones, are at their peak. Set your alarm clock and get some early morning loving, which is when levels of the sex hormones testosterone in men and oestrogen in women are up to five times higher.

Best for hospital stays: Check in on a Thursday and you''re more likely to be forced to stay longer - a full 24 hours more than patients admitted on a Sunday - according to a study by the Institute for Public Policy Research.

Friday
Best for quitting smoking: Stub out the fags on this day and you can survive the temptations of the weekend, US researchers found. This is because the first few days are when your willpower is at its strongest.

Rubbish for making big decisions: We''re more likely to be sleep-starved at the end of the working week and less able to think clearly, according to bodyclock expert Martin Moore-Ede.

Saturday
Best for having a baby: Saturdays are best if you want your child to be a winner shows the Office for National Statistics. Children born on this day have a better chance of becoming Prime Minister-of 21 PMs
since 1900, six have been born on a Saturday.

Sunday
Best for eating out : Preparing a traditional Sunday roast is more stressful than going to the dentist, according to one in five people surveyed. So take the load off and treat you and yours â€“ meaning someone else can deal with the washing up.

How To Get More Comfortable With Women

2011-03-02T22:29:00.000-08:00

In the past, I’ve explained you how you could, through some real life exercises, start overcoming your shyness.Now we are going to go further down the road and get you much more comfortable approaching and speaking with women. Again, we’ll achieve this through simple and practical ways. And this will be easy – all you need to do go for a few hours to the mall or, if your city doesn’t have one, to some busy commercial street.

Before you get going with these simple techniques, I suggest you to read the article on becoming a good speaker and knowing how to get dressed. They’ll give you a plus and get you more confident from the very beginning. So, now into the tasks… Once you get to the mall, you’ll have three things to do and keep doing for the whole of the time you are there.

The first one is to get eye contact with any good looking woman that walks by you. Look directly into their eyes and keep contact until they look away. Don’t do this in a creepy, mysterious way. Be natural and don’t exaggerate, but just look at them. This way you’ll start getting more comfortable and used to keeping eye contact with women. It’s especially important for you to achieve this! Not only it will help your overall pick up performance but it will also get your confidence naturally higher.

Second, you’ll have to get inside every shop and speak with all the saleswomen. Enter men’s stores and go straight to them. Ask them which clothes they think suit you better, etc. Also, enter any women’s stores and speak with the sales girls too. Tell them you got this girlfriend away and that she is visiting you soon. Tell them that you want to impress her with a new dress – so make them recommend you something. Do this in the shops the mall has. The first couple of times you might be shy and maybe unnatural – But keep doing this until you get really comfortable.

Finally, the last thing you should do is to stop any woman you see in the corridors and ask her if she knows where/in which floor a certain store is. It doesn’t matter if the mall is full of maps and instructions, just ask her. The goal is not to pick these girls up, but to at least establish a short conversation with them and to get comfortable with approaching strangers. So, as soon as you get inside the mall go ahead and ask. Do this several times and you’ll see results coming.

As a conclusion, remember that if you want to get comfortable and become successful picking up women, yougot to do a lot of hard work. Even if you find this boring and you are not willing to spend your days off doing this, mind that success won’t come alone. You have to be fully dedicated and the more energy and commitment you put into it, the faster will the results come. So get down to the mall and start getting these things done! It won’t take long until you see the first results!

10 things he's sure to notice about you

2011-03-02T00:13:00.000-08:00

Just the kind of drink you choose or what you wear can make a huge difference. We explain...

Sunny smile: The way you smile can say a lot about the person you are. Make sure that if you are meeting a guy for the first time, you are don't come across as someone who's eager to please and therefore laughs at all his jokes a tad too enthusiastically. At the same time don't appear too stern by keep a serious face.

Monika Pietrasinska

Dress it up: What you wear is obviously one of the first things that a guy is likely to judge you on. Whether you are a tom boy or a girlie girl... it is all revealed by the way you dress and most guys will decide whether or not to make a move just by looking at the way you dress.

Your drink: The best way to figure you out is by your drink. Your drink can demystify you within no time. Like, if you are a woman aged between 21 and 24 years having rum and coke, you may be thought to be someone who doesn't have an adventurous life.

Can you talk? Don't try to fake interests where you have none. So, if the guy is talking about football and you have no clue about it, don't pretend to be an avid fan. Just tell him outright that it isn't your field of expertise.

Hair scare: Are Plain Janes associated with a bun? The kind of hairstyle you sport is definitely going to leave an impression. An out-of-the-bed look is fine, but if your hair is downright messy then it can be a major turn off.

Watch your cleavage: Yes, if he is a man he is bound to check out your cleavage. So, be aware of what you are projecting yourself to be. A buttoned-up shirt is likely to give you a conservative look, while showing off too much may make you seem like an easy girl. So know what you are showing.

What's in your bag? If your bag resembles a haversack, it's not going to be very appealing, you may not be high-maintenance, but if you keep bringing out stuff it may give a guy an impression that you are a hoarder or high-maintenance.

Glam it up or tone it down: You don't need to look like an made-up doll if you are at a coffee shop, similarly don't look like you have had no time to even wash your face if you are at a party. Neither is appealing, and a guy is bound to notice.

Clean it up: We are talking about your skin here. Guys don't notice things like a blemish on your face. But a fake tan or just an unwashed face can be a turn off. It's okay to not put on any make-up, but ensure that you look clean.

Hold yourself: The way you sit or stand or move says a lot about you. Fidgeting too much in your seat is a clear indication of your nervousness, while sitting far too straight may make you seem a bit stressed. Relax, be calm and just be yourself.

Learning From Movie Characters

2011-03-01T22:29:00.000-08:00

There are some memorable movie performances that you should watch and imitate. After all, you can definitely learn a lot from movies. Not only about culture and history – You can also learn to become more attractive to women. The way the some characters walk, how they speak and what they inspire in women are all things you should take a look at.

Below is a list of five of these movie characters. These men are successful with women in their movies and would also be in the real world. Why? All of them, in one way or another, have a unique trait that makes them strongly attractive. I’ll analyze this trait and show you how you could achieve it yourself. Now, take the path you would like the most of all! The article may contain spoilers – be careful!

James Bond (Daniel Craig) – Casino Royale

An easy pick, right? Bond always got the girls he wanted. Without being especially handsome nor being someone with a lot of natural charisma, he still always got the highest prized women. But it’s not his MI6 00-Agent role or his license to kill what make him all he is. It’s the manhood he inspires.

In Casino Royale’s specific case, we see how a first hard-to-get woman with a very strong personality (Eva Green) finally falls to Bond. Yet it’s not his lines (which, by the way, are quite good) or his reputation what make her fall for him. Instead, it’s the safety he inspires: the feeling of making her feel protected and in good hands. He holds her tight, looks at her into her eyes, always looks in control and, above all, he has an overwhelming confidence in himself.

You don’t have to be Bond to have all these qualities (though it would be cool to be him, right?) But this manhood and confidence is also present in thousands of others. Some men, even in the most simple situations and moments make their woman feel safe, in good hands and protected – just like James Bond does. You could do that too.

Watch the movie, analyze and imitate Daniel Craig. Be the character! Also, these two articles will give you a hand becoming even a bit more like James Bond: Overcoming shyness and becoming more comfortable with women.

Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) – Raiders of the Lost Ark

Another superhero – My personal favorite this time! Indy is fantastic. The guy is a handsome university professor who in his free time goes in search of amazing treasures, ancient lost cities and a bit of Nazi ass-kicking. He is definitely a woman’s dream. He is a synonym of protection and manhood too, but not as much and in the same sense Bond is. The true nature of his awesomeness is his adventurous personality.

Indy promises adventure, promises and inspires women to see the world, discover fascinating mysteries and, in the end, have a much more interesting and fulfilling life. You can do that too! And, honestly, you don’t need to go to the tropical jungles of Peru to have a bit of adventure. You can bring adventure into your and her life at any moment – you just have to focus on it! After all, just imagine how mediocre most men are – offer a bit more and you’ll be already into some serious deal.

As with Bond, watch this movie and get a bit of inspiration! The article on unique and amazing first dates gets straight to the point in adding adventure to your relationships.

Don Juan (Johnny Depp) – Don Juan DeMarco

This is a special movie with a couple of very special characters. If you haven’t watched it already, buy it! Depp plays this guy who truly believes he is Don Juan, the world’s greatest lover. He is so confident in himself and on the amazing pleasure he can give to women that they actually start falling for him. He arouses them and makes them feel more women – acting as a total sexual master.

Women love good sex and will be poised to fall for personalities like this. Make a woman feel she’ll find amazing pleasure in you and you’ll have a hit in the making. Be open about it. Don Juan tells these women, with confident and seriousness, that they would never leave his arms unsatisfied. He promises the greatest pleasure they’ll ever experience. But this won’t only attract women; it will also help you keeping them. A woman may be much less willing to leave you if you make her feel a queen in bed.

Watch the movie, get a Don Juan attitude and make a commitment with yourself on becoming a master of the arts of sex. I strongly suggest you to read the about oral sex and giving amazing pleasure as well as how to become a better lover.

Edward Bloom (Ewan McGregor) – Big Fish

This guy is the ultimate symbol of charisma and ambition – you just got to love him. He is a successful young man, with lots of guts and loved by everyone. He’s always positive, with a big smile and he wins the hearts of lots of ladies. Once he finds the one he wants to settle with, he does the impossible to get her attention, taking her from another man and finally conquering her heart in an amazing way. He adds flavor to everything he says – becoming a magical story teller.

The more like Edward you are, the more successful you’ll be with women. He is spontaneous, energetic, open and also inspiring. But, above all, he is ambitious. He gets what he wants – and women feel attracted to men like that. The more you are like him, the more successful you’ll be with women. Of course that’s not easy to achieve all this – but you certainly can if you commit and give hard work to it.

If haven’t already, you definitely have to watch the movie. It’s funny, lovely and full of amazing quotes. As for the suggested material, you should check on how to become a great storyteller and how to be charismatic.

Jesse (Ethan Hawke) – Before Sunrise

Jesse is, unlike the other four, a normal guy as I am or you could be. He is not necessarily charismatic, strong and neither is a master lover. But there’s something special in him – he is full of magic inside. Out of the blue he invents, along with the great backup that is Celine (Julie Delpy), a unique night in a unique city (I LOVE Vienna, in case you didn’t know.) For the short period of just hours together Jesse and Celine create a bond that will last for the rest of their lives. He achieves this by making the moment together a unique and unrepeatable adventure.

He convinces her to get down from the train with him and spend the night together wandering off the streets of Vienna. Though at the beginning two strangers, they manage to build together one of the most memorable romances in film history. They achieve this talking deep, sharing experiences and inspiring one another to make the moment unforgettable. They fall in love and make of it something neither of them will ever forget – no matter how many others will come.

That is all what romance is about. You have to make the time together something she’ll never forget, and inspire her and change her from the inside, so once she meets you it will be a before and after moment in her life, want it or not. I feel really indentified with Jesse because I’m that kind of guy and experiences like this happened in my life. But the truth is that you have to look for them, you have to work hard because they just won’t come alone. Search for this opportunities and be prepared to be a great man to make the most of them.

I had written about this movie before and I’ll keep doing it in the future. It’s just fantastic. If one movie changed me, it’s this one. So better watch it guys! Read as well the article on making your girlfriend never forget you – it goes into this but a bit deeper.

Frequent sex makes newlyweds happy

2011-03-01T00:12:00.000-08:00

Thalita & Jheny

People who are neurotic often find it hard to manage their relationships. But if neurotic newlyweds have frequent sex, their marital satisfaction is every bit as high as their less neurotic counterparts, a study says.

Neuroticism is the tendency to experience negative emotion. Such people get upset and irritated easily, have mood swings and worry frequently, reports the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science .

People who score high in neuroticism are less satisfied in romance and relationships, and when they get married, they are more likely to divorce.

High levels of neuroticism are more strongly associated with bad marital outcomes than any other personality factor, said Michelle Russell and James McNulty of the University of Tennessee, study co-authors.

But sex in marriage seems to make people happy. Other research has shown that sexual interactions improved the couple's mood the next day, according to a Tennessee statement.

Russell and McNulty wanted to know if frequent sexual activity would erase the negative effects of neuroticism.

They followed 72 newlywed couples over the first four years of their marriage. Both spouses reported - separately and privately - on their marital satisfaction and sexual frequency every six months.

On average, couples reported sexual intercourse about once a week during the first six months of marriage and about three times a month by the fourth year of marriage.

Couples were considered satisfied when they said that they "have a good marriage" and "my relationship with my partner makes me happy".

Marital satisfaction was not associated with sexual frequency - neither at the start of the marriage, nor four years later.

But Russell and McNulty found one important exception. For spouses with high levels of neuroticism, frequent sexual intercourse improved their marital satisfaction.

The effect of frequent sexual activity was enough to completely wipe away the " happiness deficit" that neurotic spouses usually have.

Read more: Frequent sex makes newlyweds happy - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Frequent-sex-makes-newlyweds-happy/articleshow/7070871.cms#ixzz18jzV5o6a

Getting a Girlfriend

2011-02-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

This article is about overcoming difficult times and finding your so wanted girlfriend. It may possibly happen that for months, if not years, you might be in a really bad streak with women. Long time without sex or a girlfriend can be terrible and could give a serious blow to your self-esteem. It may happen that you might start blaming yourself as a failure and perhaps you might even find uncomfortable going out and socializing with other people. This happens to many men all the time and everyone can get through. You just need commitment, belief and a good deal of hard work. So, let’s break up where you should focus on and the reasons for your failure. If you think you are fine in one of these points, jump to the next one.

You don’t meet women

If you just don’t meet women, the logic is that you will find it hard to land a girlfriend. Just think about it – How many new girls did you meet during the last month? Your chances finding a partner are proportional to your answer. The more women you know, the more possibilities you’ll have. So your first and most important step has to be in that direction.

To meet hundreds of women you don’t necessarily need to go out every day. That can keep being an option, but there are other possibilities you could consider if you are not the club type of guy. For example, try joining groups, take courses (dancing, speaking… Something that will raise your value and where you can meet women at the same time,) go to art exhibitions and join the new communities thriving on the Internet. The possibilities are endless and it’s not so hard to start meeting women. You just need to move your ass a little bit.

No time/Job too tiring are not excuses. If you job really doesn’t give you any time for social life, I’ll suggest you finding yourself another one. After all, you don’t need more than a couple hours a week to do all this.

You are unattractive to women

Imagine you meet many girls, but because one thing or the other you always end up being unattractive to them. That’s possible, happens all of the time and it’s definitely not good. In this case you should be honest with yourself and completely self-critical. There must be something that makes you unwanted in the eyes of women and your duty is to find out what. That something can not at all be about your looks – most of the times it’s something about your personality.

Find your weak points and the causes of your low value. Work on them and build the necessary attributes to become more attractive. Learn to speak and to be charismatic, dress up well and learn to tell good stories.Practice eye contact, body language and all those things that could make you become more seductive. Work hard for it – results won’t come in a few days time. But with consistency, in the end, they will.

You can’t get beyond first base

If you ask a girl out and she agrees, she’s interested in you. Perhaps not that much, but you will have some chances. No girl goes out with a guy just out of pity – there’s always something. The key to win is to make the most and potentiate that interest. A girl might go out with you one or two times, but she will dump you fast if you happen to be a horrible player.

Potentiate what interests her by displaying further value, social proof and having an amazing couple of first dates. Think on what of you is she attracted the most to and keep building on that. Don’t play conservative – just show the best of you. Finally, don’t lose your chances. You’ll have to kiss when you have to kiss and take her to bed when the time comes. Don’t let time pass – Do things when you should.

Getting divorced does wonders for men’s health

2011-02-28T00:12:00.000-08:00

For some it may be an agonizing thing, but divorce doesn't seem to have the same effect on all.

A new study has suggested that divorced single men pay more attention to their bodies to try to win a new mate.

Shay Laren

Women who divorce are likely to become less fit, as are men who remarry after a divorce, researchers say, but it's a different story for divorced men.

Married men are more likely to let themselves go as they no longer need to compete for a partner.

The latest study of 9,000 men and women was by scientists at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm over eight years.

"There was a significant increase in fitness in men who divorced but a tendency towards a decrease in women who divorced," the Daily Express quoted researchers as saying.

"Single men have the pressure of keeping fit to increase their attractiveness and find a partner."
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Overcoming The Anxiety With Approaching Women

2011-02-27T22:25:00.000-08:00

Imagine a situation like this: you are in the club, in a bar or maybe in the street. There you see the woman you want, lightning strikes and you are dying to speak with her. What should you do? The answer lies in the Pick Up Artists’ 3 Second Rule.

If there’s only one thing I could take from the PUAs, it is that one rule. It is the ultimate and wisest thing they ever invented. The concept is simple: approach the girl you want in less than three seconds after you saw her. That is – do it immediately, without hesitation. Just go for it! This is GREAT and it’s what all men who want to get better at approaching should do. Let me explain you why.

By immediately approaching you don’t leave time for your brain to start thinking up excuses, getting yourself nervous and making the situation odd. It’s a matter of intent and manhood – girls just feel it. They know if you were gathering strength to approach her or you just did it spontaneously. And the latter proves to be much more successful!

Even if you don’t have anything to say, it’s better to go and say “Hello, how are you?” but going right off. Combine this with a confident and loud voice and you are into some business. If you want, you could add or use some pick up line, as it could be possible for you that you feel more confident if you have something to say straight of the bat. But line or no line, you just go.

As every time you approach a woman, remember and have very clear that you might very well get rejected. But just get over it – It’s better to go and approach, forget about the possible rejection and don’t go home thinking you should have approached that one girl. It’s better to go to sleep thinking that at least you tried. And, for sure, the more you try, the more success you’ll have.

Forget feminism when it comes to love life

2011-02-27T00:12:00.000-08:00

Shannon Elizabeth

Women look at feminism as a way of being equal to men â€“ be it in politics or at work, but two authors are of the opinion that feminism has all but destroyed modern love lives.

The new dating and relationship guide is called "The Man Whisperer: A Gentle, Results Orientated Approach to Communication."

"While modern women have been conditioned to 'act like men' in the office in order to climb the corporate ranks and to get ahead, unfortunately women have taken this same masculine attitude with them into their love life," Fox News quoted author Donna Sozio as telling Pop Tarts.

"When it comes to love, romance, attraction and chemistry â€“ men don't fall in love with a woman because she is an equal. Men fall in love with women who are their compliment: feminine, sexually available, loving and appreciative," she added.

Co-author Samantha Brett offers her views on why men often do the dirty on their successful, gorgeous wives with those far less attractive or accomplished.

"These women make men feel good about themselves, they look up to men and are easily impressed. ''Man Whispering'' is all about making a man feel like he is 'the good guy,' a woman's 'hero' and that he has the infinite ability to please you," Brett explained.

"Women should ''whisper'' to him every day about just how special and important he is to her, her family and the community. That's how women keep their men by their sides instead of in the arms of another woman!"

Another piece of advice - zip the lip when it comes to rattling off your novel-sized list of credentials and achievements.

"The mistake women make is to think that the more they impress a man by regaling fabulously interesting tales of all they have done â€“ the more they will fall in love with him. But men don't fall in love with accomplishments," Brett continued.

"He wants nothing more than to be 'the man' in the relationship, the one who provides and protects his woman. When a man feels like he is not needed by a woman, his ego gets bruised and he retreats."

One more thing: apparently women should also quit trying to understand their men.

"Most men's brains are not wired to receive and compute information intuitively. Rather than fight it, just embrace the mystery. Women should start explaining what they need from men in plain language," Sozio added.

How To Know If A Girl Is Interested In You

2011-02-26T22:24:00.000-08:00

A girl who is interested in you might show it through two possible ways. First, she will give you subtle hints that she is becoming increasingly attracted to you. She’ll smile at what you say, she’ll try to keep the conversation going and maybe she’ll even touch you. The second way is much harder to read – it’s about theselittle things she does unconsciously when she is becoming more and more attracted to you.

Following is a list of all those things women do that fall into those two criteria. I compiled it through my personal experiences and also coupled it with some great material I have found in the Internet.

A girl is interested in you when…

• She laughs while talking to you
• When comes back after going to the bathroom
• When sitting next to you her leg touches yours
• She asks if you have a girlfriend
• She avoids mentioning her boyfriend
• She reinitiates conversation when you stop talking
• She seats with her legs opened
• She giggles
• She introduces you to friends
• She buys you a drink
• She touches you
• She returns your calls
• She looks back and glances at you repeatedly every minute or so.
• She tosses her hair (to see if you will look)
• If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it
• When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reactions
• She smiles at you
• Her skin tone becomes red while being around you
• She stands nearby
• She laughs in unison with you
• She plays with her hair while talking to you
• She asks for your name
• She asks for your age
• She compliments you
• In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you
• She uses nicknames for you
• She asks you where are you going as you leave the bar
• She calls you a player or a heartbreaker
• She is playful and tries to challenge you
• She leans into you
• She degrades other women
• She starts qualifying herself
• She wets her lips
• She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, this is often combined with a smile and some eye contact
• She is fixing, patting or smoothing her outfit to make herself look better
• She is throwing her hair back off her shoulders
• She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you
• She exposes the palms of her hand facing you
• She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated
• She plays with her jewellery, especially with stroking and pulling motions
• If she is wearing clothes that show her nipples underneath and you notice they are getting perky and erect
• She rubs her chin or touches her cheek.
• If seated, she starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm
• She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours
• She sits with one hand touching one of her breasts

And more! The list will keep being updated in the near future and you are all invited to contribute leaving your own in the comments section just below.

Personally I don’t follow these rules that much. I’m a bit more of a feelings guy and generally notice when a girl is into me or not. You probably will do too once you have a bit more of practice and experience with women. But experience or not, these points above keep true. If you know them all and are skilled when reading them, you will only have gains. It will give you a great hand!

The spicy, sexy route

2011-02-26T00:11:00.000-08:00

Lindsay Wagner

Bored of the same routine that you and your partner follow in the bedroom? Here are some spicy ideas that you can indulge in to keep your sex life rocking.

Role Play: If it turns him/her on, on the screen, imagine how much more effective it will be in real life. Think up which is your partner's favourite movie love scene and surprise them by recreating it in your bedroom. You don't necessarily have to get each and every detail right, instead work on your own look.

Hands-Free: It's quite amazing how a simple touch can indeed arouse your partner. But instead of using your hands, like you always do, try to arouse him/her by using some other body part. Tell your partner it's a hands-free night and be as innovative as you can, you'll be surprised at how much he/she will love it.

Talk the deed : There's a reason why phone sex is so popular, words can indeed be an instant turn on. Ask your partner what s/he's wearing and describe, as sexily as you can, what you are wearing and then, talk about how you'd like to undress him/her. Tell him/her about your secret fantasy and get them to tell you theirs and then discuss how you could indulge in it while in the bedroom.

Set it up: Put out those harsh, artificial lights and opt for some scented candles, scatter petals of roses all over the bed and whatever else you know will work to make the night even more interesting. Yes, this is where you need to do the settings for those fantasies that you and your partner have discussed. For that element of surprise, lead your partner into the bedroom with his/her eyes covered.

The surprise factor: Nothing works better to work up the passion than leading him/her on. Leave a note on the TV remote that says 'Turn me on instead'. Leave directions, in the form of pieces of your clothing from the front door to your bedroom. Let him/her find you laying seductively on the bed and enjoy the action that follows.

Attracting The Woman You Want

2011-02-25T22:24:00.000-08:00

This is hands down the ultimate value riser technique. Read through!

“He must have something!” That’s exactly what all women start thinking once they see a man, attractive or not, who is hanging around with this really good looking girl. They’ll scan him through and think about all those qualities he could have, and which are the secrets that made him get such a gorgeous looking lady. They will look into which could be his charm and what’s so special in him that one amazing woman is spending her time with him. Be that man and in the eyes of all those other women you’ll be a winner and nothing else.

This is exactly why all men should find the way to have one or two very attractive women friends, even if they are just that – only friends. The idea is to have a good feeling with them, enough to go out together once a while. They could be some ex classmates, friends in common and so on, but always with a friendship link which you could use as an outstanding weapon to go and seduce other women. Just suppose, for instance, that you are at a bar with one or two of these really pretty girls and want to go and hit on another one. It will obviously be easier – as, friend or not, you already have the aura of being a man who is surrounded by good looking girls.

The truth is that it’s not that hard to some wing girls as these. After all, women like to have friends whom they could trust, whom they could speak their doubts with and also whom could clarify their doubts about men (their friends make most of the job, but all women love to have some masculine advice too.) It’s because of this that’s not so hard to initiate a friendship with one of these “goddesses”. After all, most of the men who approach them do it just with the aim of sleeping with them. Be different! Sometimes it’s not a loser’s thing to be just friends – it could also be a great idea.

So then, go and look for this gorgeous friend! It could be an old classmate, co worker, family, cousin or even your sister. Maybe a teacher, trainer or someone you meet in some dancing lesson. Not every relationship has to be a date – resist the temptation and settle for friends. Then, where ever you go with a woman as attractive as these the imagination and thoughts of the others will be insane!

Signs of a perfect sex partner

2011-02-25T00:11:00.000-08:00

Vanessa Azevedo

"Do I have a perfect sex partner? If not, how can I get one?' Indeed a million dollar question that hovers in the minds of most couples!

Though it might be hard to find an absolute sexually compatible partner, but most couples don't even know the traits that they or their better half should posses to be a perfect sex partner.

Having an outstanding sex partner takes a huge burden off an individual's mind. It allows them concentrate more on the act, instead of thinking too much about whether they're making love to the right person or not. When it comes to a perfect sex partner, attributes like height, weight, age, behaviour, choices etc take a backseat. What matters is that he/she suits you and shares an amazing chemistry in the bedroom.

Dr. Kirti Mishra, a clinical physiologist and a relationship expert elucidates, "The idea of a perfect sex partner varies for different individuals, but some common traits like sexually active, experimental in bed, hygienically sound etc are a must, as they are the key for finding sexual bliss. Most couples today are working on their personal attributes to match their partner's prerequisites and thus become a perfect sex partner."

Apart from good looks, a hot body and a heady sex drive, let's explore the less superficial elements of what makes a perfect sex partner. And if your partner bears these qualities in bed, you can unquestionably boast of having a great sex partner...

1. Hygiene holds the key
Everyone likes making love to a clean and tidy partner, so good hygiene holds great importance in a sexual relationship. Ensure that your partner is well manicured with a fully waxed body to ensure a higher comfort level. Too much hair on body makes it uncomfortable to enjoy each inch of your lover. So look out for a soft and clean skin in your partner complemented with a nice smell, as a bad body odour is a huge turn-off.

Hot tip : "During sexual intimacy, everyone wants a hygienically fit partner, as this not only enhances the comfort level, but lets you enjoy the act more. So make sure you seem as fresh as if you have just stepped out of the shower before getting into bed. Sexual scents and aphrodisiacal fragrances are a good choice," recommends Dr. Devesh Roy, a sex therapist.

2. Oral sex shouldn't be an issue
You know what pleases you, so a wonderful partner to have in bed is one who doesn't hesitate going out of the way to give you that pleasure. If not routinely, your partner should be ready to please you orally as per their own mood and comfort level. While no one is perfectly adept at the oral act, but a partner who tries learning the little tricks to arouse you can surely add magic to your love life.

Hot tip : "Don't wait for your partner to tell you or give hints each time they feel like experiencing oral pleasure, instead make it a part of the love making act. It is quite safe and enjoyable as the actual act, so don't be unwilling to go for it," states Dr. Deepak Gupta, a sex expert.

5 signs your partner wants a break up

2011-02-24T00:10:00.000-08:00

Larissa Riquelme

They say the ultimate test of a relationship is when two people take a vacation and are still together when they return. But what if the vacation isn't going so well?

Here are five signs that you should look out for to warn you that your partner is about to break up with you:

1. They make a "travel friend" of the opposite sex: It's the obvious sign. When you travel as a couple, the adventures you have are meant to be experienced together, a forging of intimate memories between two people. A third wheel is a no-no at the best of times, but to invite someone along "because they're on their own" or "we're going there anyway" is asking for trouble.

2. They want to do new things on their own: It's really highlighting the fact that doing things they previously expressed no interest in is now preferable to doing things with you.

If your partner wants to go off on their own to visit a flea market, then things are salvageable. But if they're cage diving with great white sharks or base-jumping into a canyon, you might want to cancel that joint hotmail address you use for travelling, reports News .

3. They don't argue about things they usually argue with you about: if a relationship is strained or nearing an end, the effort it takes to argue is no longer there. If something like "I've just taken us down a 150km dead-end" is met with a reply of "Oh well, these things happen" you could be heading for trouble.

4. They develop "changed person" syndrome: Travel has a knack of changing people, often giving an individual a fresh new perspective on work, life and love.

As the wider world is introduced, the things that once endeared you to your partner can now be what makes their skin crawl. Jokes are no longer funny or they've heard the same old stories again and again. Suddenly the "different person" is looking for a different person.

5. They want an end of trip "talk": Because "changed person" syndrome takes about a month to die off, there's usually a three-week period after a long trip when the words "talk" usually mean "I'm telling you we're finished."

If you want to stay in your relationship, it's best to avoid all communication with your partner during this time before letting normal services resume.